15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Tennessee
Satirical piece listing humorous reasons not to move to Tennessee.
Tennessee? Are you really thinking of moving to Tennessee? Sure, we understand that you may want to because you've heard of all the wonderful, great, and beautiful things about our state. However, we're here to tell you, there's no reason to move here. So, unpack your boxes, get your kids out of their coats, and settle back down, so you can enjoy the home you're in now. Don't move to Tennessee. There's really no reason to. In fact, I hate living in Tennessee. And if you're wondering, "Is Tennessee a good place to live?" - the answer is no, definitely not! If you still have doubts, we've included 15 reasons not to move to Tennessee below.
1. Tennessee is basically a complete wash, so don't ever move here because there's no reason to, right?
What even is this photo? We should delete it.
2. And nothing grows here during the spring.
Nope! Nothing at all!
3. We're a frozen wasteland during the wintertime.
What even is this? Antarctica?
4. Plus, there's absolutely nothing to do. How can you live in a state with nothing to do?
Dollywood? That's in a different state, right?
5. And there's nowhere to eat.
Nothing historic or notable to see.
6. There's basically nothing to eat in Tennessee at all.
We just don't eat a lot down here. It's all about moderation, you know?
7. I mean, who would ever want to live here?
Gross! I hate Tennessee!
8. And such ugly scenery, at that.
I can't even look at this scene for a moment longer.Also, be sure not to watch this video about the scenery in the Great Smoky Mountains:
9. It's basically all country out here.
There are absolutely no cities to speak of.
10. No one great ever comes out of Tennessee.
Who's Dolly Parton?
11. Tennessee's income tax is truly unbelievable.
As in, it doesn't even exist.
12. We have no idea how to have a good time.
Not even a hint of it.
13. There are no great outdoor activities.
Don't even think about it.
14. Also, we're landlocked, so there's no water anywhere.
Nothing! Nada! Zilch!
15. Pretty much nobody cares about sports in Tennessee.
Vols? What?
Bet you never knew that about Tennessee, huh? And everything is absolutely 100 percent true. Like these magical Tennessee main streets, we're telling the whole truth. We're certain that you should definitely not pack up the car and take a Tennessee road trip. Can you think of any other reasons not to move to Tennessee? If so, please share them with us in the comments below - and stop moving to Tennessee!
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