Posted in Kentucky
December 14, 2016
15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Kentucky
OK, the jig is up. People are starting to figure out that Kentucky is awesome and cool and beautiful and all around just a great place to live. The thing is, us Kentuckians created the unique culture we have here in the Bluegrass State all on our own while the rest of the country was too busy thinking that KFC gravy runs through our veins. Here are all the reasons that people should just stay in Hoosier Land or wherever they’re from instead deciding to move here, and let us have Kentucky all to ourselves.
We’re aware that these uncertain times are limiting many aspects of life. While we continue to feature destinations that make our state wonderful, please take proper precautions or add them to your bucket list to see at a later date. If you know of a local business that could use some extra support during these times, please nominate them here: onlyinyourstate.com/nominate

There are about 5.3 million barrels of bourbon in Kentucky. The total population is 4.4 million people.

Beautiful peaks, tremendous hiking, stunning gorges, and the historic Cumberland Gap... who needs it, right?

Hate to burst your bubble, but no, bluegrass isn't actually blue. It's a brilliant shade of green, but when it gets to about two to three feet, blue flowers blossom at the top.

So if you drove across Kentucky from east to west in a day, you'd experience mountains, farmland, and deep caves. That's just way too confusing.

Cumberland Falls is the only waterfall in the western hemisphere where a moonbow regularly occurs. But hey, Victoria Falls in Africa is the other place in the world where that happens, so you could always go there.

It's too crowded around Kentucky Derby time anyway. It's probably better to just stay in your home state that weekend. Limousines take up way too much street parking, bourbon is all anybody is drinking, and there's just way too many parties to choose from, so that's pretty stressful right?

Nope, nothing like that happens. We definitely don't party for two straight weeks either.

You just can't top the Greatest Of All Time, so it's best not to bother trying.

We still love you, Secretariat.

This rivalry makes your pro sports team rivalry just look silly.

The world's biggest baseball bat leans against the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory. The horror.

Ever heard of a cheeseburger? We invented that too. See also: benedictine, bourbon balls, Modjeska candies, beer cheese, burgoo, Henry Bain sauce, Derby Pie.

There's Loretta Lynn, the Judds, Billy Ray Cyrus, Dwight Yoakam, Will Oldham, Ben Sollee, My Morning Jacket, Cage the Elephant, Nappy Roots, Nicole Scherzinger, and that's just some of them.

P.S. It's April.

You'll go from wearing shorts to wearing a parka. There is no in between.
Sorry folks, not everyone is cut out for the awesomeness of being a Kentuckian. Just leave it to the experts.