Texas March 17, 2016
24 Reasons Why Anyone Who Hates Texas Can Just Shut Up
I think it’s safe to say that Texas is probably the most hated state in the country. But how does that saying go? “They hate us ’cause they ain’t us?” Yeah, that’s definitely true for our state. We’re just that awesome. Too awesome to even try to measure up to, so other states resort to lame jabs at us to push our buttons. But guess what – we don’t care. We know how great we are. This is for all you Texas haters out there.
1. We're bigger than your state (unless you're Alaska, but nobody other than a few polar bears lives there anyway.)
We're so big that we could've been divided into 5 separate states. Take that, Rhode Island.
2. We were once our own country.
That flag to the far right? That's the Republic of Texas. I don't recall hearing about the Republic of Delaware, do you? Exactly.
3. We have our own language.
What do they say in New York? You guys? Bo-ring.
4. We're gifted with beautiful wildflowers every spring.
And you can only find them in Texas, which is another reason your state sucks.
5. We have the only good ice cream that exists in this world.
Move on over, Breyer's and Dreyer's (are they brothers or something?)
6. We're home to the #1 waterpark in all of America.
7. There's always a Whataburger nearby.
Yeah, yeah, I know they're in other states, too - but the franchise was OUR brainchild, not your state's.
8. You have to pay a state income tax and we don't!
Hate on us all you want - we'll just laugh while you fork over your money and we're passing "Go" to collect $200.
9. Some of your favorite musical legends are from Texas.
Willie Nelson, Selena, George Strait...need I go on?
10. There's an entire style of food named after us.
It's not Cali-Mex or Zona-Mex, it's Tex-Mex. So thank your lucky stars (and stomachs) for us.
11. Our state is way more ecologically diverse than yours. We have majestic mountains in the middle of the desert...
...and lush greenery in the middle of a swampy forest.
12. We have the biggest rodeo IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (that's going on right now, by the way).
13. We have the largest colony of bats in the United States.
14. There's no sunrise like a Texas sunrise.
Sorry, every other state.
15. The Astrodome is the Eighth Wonder of the World...
Does your state have a world wonder? Didn't think so.
16. And the Cowboys' Stadium is the WORLD'S largest column-free enclosed space with the 4th largest display screen.
17. The first man on the moon reached out to our state.
He didn't call Florida or Nebraska, he called Houston. We're better than you. The end.
18. There are waffles shaped like our state.
I don't know about you, but I've never seen a Colorado or Nevada shaped waffle before. Why? Because only one state is worthy of its own breakfast mold. Texas forever.
19. River floatin'.
Y'all Yankees in your high-rise apartments can enjoy swimming in your bathtubs with a glass of wine while we stick to guzzling beer on the river, thank you very much.
20. We invented the best beverage on earth.
What soda did your state invent? Not Dr Pepper, so who cares.
21. Our bathrooms are cleaner than yours.
22. Our state fair has an awesome mascot welcoming everyone.
What does your state fair have? A rickety ferris wheel and a bunch of drunk carnies? Okay.
23. Everyone who's anyone knows this song.
What song does your state have? An unimportant one, that's what.
24. Texas BBQ. 'Nuff said.
If you've never had it, well...shut up and start stuffing your face.
Why else does every Texas hater need to just shut up?