The 14 True Phases Of Surviving A Pennsylvania Winter
Old Man Winter’s knocking on our door. Whether we want to answer or not, he’s going to come barging in like an unwelcome guest. Then, without fail, he’ll ruin our plans, often at the last minute, and overstay his welcome. We’ll complain, implore him to leave, and start begging Mother Nature to allow spring to arrive early. After all, surviving a Pennsylvania winter is akin to going on a roller coaster but never knowing when – or if – we’ll get off.
Here we go again. Local meteorologists start building anticipation with vague references about temperature drops and precipitation in the coming days, pointing to the heavy snow in the Midwest. We just shrug. We’ve heard it before. No use in ruining a perfectly good day with panic over what might happen.
We’ve seen it all. Sometimes four seasons in one day. So, that little hint of a storm that might or might not hit us just goes in one ear and, well, you know the rest. Some of us venture out in shorts, maybe even flip flops, even when the temps dip below freezing. A little cold doesn’t scare a real Pennsylvanian.
Until the meteorologists all agree that we’re likely in for another Snowmaggedon. Severe weather alerts interrupt TV shows and warnings scroll along the bottom of screens.
Hurry! Check the bathroom. How many toilet paper rolls are left? Do we have enough milk? What about bread? If the electricity goes out, how will we survive without bread?
While half of PA panics, the other half just lets out a collective sigh with an obligatory eye roll. We’ve been here before. We’re not falling for it…yet.
Hurry! No sightings of a snowflake yet but those warnings keep scrolling across our television screens and popping up on our smartphones. Something big is about to happen. We head to the store, piling our cart with toilet paper, milk, bread, and anything that will survive a dreaded power outage.
Well, we almost made it out of the parking lot when we remembered the batteries. Back we go.
Snow starts to tumble down, just enough to freak out drivers who start hitting the breaks.
That 10-minute drive from the grocery store turns into an hour-long crawl.
Grab the candles. Where are the matches? Put the batteries in the flashlight. Whew. False alarm.
It’s looking like a winter wonderland outside as the snow tumbles down. We wrap ourselves in our cozy blankets and go to sleep.
Ugh. There’s a text message, an email, and a voicemail, all from the school district at 4 a.m. Two-hour delay.
Woo hoo! We got a real Snowmageddon of, what, an inch? (Unless, of course, you live in Erie, where you’re likely snowed in for at least the next few days.)
Until, of course, we start getting the warnings of severe spring thunderstorms headed our way.
What advice do you have for others about surviving a Pennsylvania winter? Let us know in the comments! Then, click here to read 10 tongue-in-cheek reasons no one in their right mind visits PA during the winter.
OnlyInYourState may earn compensation through affiliate links in this article.