Northern California September 15, 2016
8 Surefire Ways To Always Spot A Tourist In Northern California
Northern California is quite a magnet to travelers. Lots of folks pine away just thinking of taking their first trip to our Golden State. We’re on the bucket list of lots of people in the good ol’ US of A. Since we have so much to offer, lots of families eventually make a trip out our way. The problem is we can spot them a mile away. If you don’t want to be shunned by the locals around here, don’t do these things:
1. First things first. It's California, NOT Cali.
The only people who call Callifornia "Cali" are rappers from New York and tourists from everywhere else. We don't say Cali--ever.
2. We never forget this if we're going to the beach.
Our beaches are windy. Our beaches can be cold, too. Which means we ALWAYS bring a sweater or a light jacket. This tourist in the photo here brought neither and is using the blanket she brought to lie on. Rookie move.
3. Only a tourist will wait for this.
Please don't sit in your car and wait for someone to step outside and pump your gas. We'll know without a doubt you're not from around here.
4. Hollywood is FAR from here.
There's a HUGE difference between Northern and Southern California. For starters, we're not as mesmerized with actors. We don't care half as much as our self-centered plastic-fantastic southern sister.
5. We see tourists.
We know when and when NOT to go to In N' Out burger. Plus, we can have it anytime which means we refuse to stand in line as long as you tourists will.
6. When you go to San Francisco to see the 49ers play, you're NOT from here.
Levi Stadium is NOT in San Francisco. So, just in case you're an out-of-state San Francisco 49er fan, you'd waste a lot of time trying to find their new stadium in The City. Santa Clara is where you need to go. You're welcome.
7. If you don't know how to eat one of these.
Artichokes are delicious spiky green veggies - and we LOVE them out here. Most people can be pretty intimidated by the spiky leaves. Trust us, we know how great these are and when you don't order one we know...we always know.
8. Only tourists bring less than this to spend daily.
How much did you budget for each day of your vacation here? I promise it's not enough. You might want to double that figure. You really have to be a local to know where to go on a dime around here. Only a tourist thinks $100 a day is enough spending money. We laugh at tourists like you. You might want to take a second mortgage out before your trip up and down Northern California. You're going to need it.
We told you we could spot you a mile away. How many of these things were you thinking of doing before we helped inform you of what NOT to do when you got here? You’re welcome.