Denver June 05, 2017
11 Awkward Moments Every Denverite Has Endured At Least Once
If you are a Denver native, you know that there are just some things that we do… err, differently from the rest of the country. Need an example? Here are 11, via these awkward moments that every Denverite has endured at least once:
We’re aware that these uncertain times are limiting many aspects of life. While we continue to feature destinations that make our state wonderful, please take proper precautions or add them to your bucket list to see at a later date. If you know of a local business that could use some extra support during these times, please nominate them here:
1.) Having to explain Rocky Mountain Oysters...
"Well, they aren't *exactly* seafood... but like fish, they do come from a dark and mysterious world unlike any other."
Let me put it this way: He sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, and knows where you're flying to, so don't try to pull any shenanigans!
3.) ...or this bad boy to any out-of-stater.
(Bad boy = the sign... we cannot speak for the character of the gentleman beside the sign.)
4.) Running into a cat on the street
Umm, what am I supposed to do with this non-dog? Will it bite me if I try to pet it? Will it maul me if I slowly walk away? HELP!
5.) Random weed jokes
Yes, recreational marijuana is legal in Colorado.
No, we do not all partake in legal weed.
Yes, we have heard that "joke" a million times and didn't find it funny the first time, so please stop.
6.) Actually forgetting the location of Shane Company...
"The Shane Company, just off Araphoe Rd and Emporia St, one half mile east of I-25, and in Westminster off the Boulder Turn Pike at 104th..."
7.) ...and/or Rocky's Autos.
*in deep and gravely voice* "Roooooooooocky's. 63rd and Federal!"
C'mon, people; you've only been hearing this since you were in utero!
8.) Going out of state and ordering something Colorado-style...
"You know, Colorado-style? Like smothered in green chile? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT IS GREEN CHILE'?!"
9.) ...a beer...
This is not a drill, folks, as not every state is home to more than 100 microbreweries!
10.) ...or just really needing "your fix."
I have some good news and some bad news... the bad news is that recreational marijuana is not legal in every state. The good news is that Kenny deals behind the local movie theater and will be there until 9.
11.) Finally, we all experienced that awkward moment when the Broncos killed in Super Bowl 50 but went on to completely eff up the following season.
That's okay, guys -- we will get 'em this year! (Right, Trevor and Paxton? RIGHT?!)
For more Mile High City humor, check out these
12 Weird Side Effects Everyone Experiences From Growing Up In Denver!