11 Reasons You Should Move Far Far Away From Pittsburgh

How long have you lived in Pittsburgh? Probably long enough, right? Seriously, if you’ve not started thinking about making your move out of our growing city, now’s a good time to start. After all, when we move to Pittsburgh, we usually stay – for life. Here are 11 reasons you should move far, far away from Pittsburgh. (And, don’t worry. It’s all in good fun. We love the Burgh as much as you do!)

1. Snooze…there’s just nothing to do in Pittsburgh.

Especially if you’re a sport fans, love roller coasters, and crave good food. You’d better leave. You definitely won’t find much of anything here in the Burgh.

2. Steel mills…nothing more.

Yep, it’s all about the steel mills – and the smoky air – in Pittsburgh. Who wants to breathe in all of that smog? Not us.

3. Sun…what’s that?

Winter days are so dark and dreary. Life in Pittsburgh is just so gray. And, if you’re going to deal with the dreary weather every day, why not just move to London or Washington State?

4. Our food is just weird.

C’mon how many other cities can you think of that put fries and coleslaw on their sandwiches? Fries on their salads? Or, don’t melt the cheese on top of their pizza in the oven?

5. And, Pittsburgh is so old-school.

Go somewhere more modern. After all, Pittsburgh’s all about homemade pierogis, diners straight from the past, and Pittsburgh traditions like waving the Terrible Towel. Who wants that?

6. Oh yeah, we’re really stuck in the past, especially when it comes to the environment.

You definitely won’t see Pittsburgh on any lists for its eco-friendliness. (Oh wait, yes, you will.) Maybe opt for a city that has bike lanes?

7. We have to travel for hours just to enjoy greenery.

Yep, it’s really tough not having any green in downtown Pittsburgh. Maybe someone could suggest adding a state park with a fountain at the Point?

8. And Pittsburgh a big city?

Ha! Surely you jest. Pittsburgh just doesn’t cut it when it comes to culture, things to do, and eclectic restaurants.

9. Pittsburghers are just so subdued.

Really, you should go somewhere where the residents are more animated and more passionate. You just won’t find ‘em in Pittsburgh.

10. You’ll just have too many decisions to make.

We just don’t need the stress of making decisions. In Pittsburgh, we have to decide whether we’re going to drive or to take the bus. We must ponder which restaurant of hundreds will satisfy our appetite, and whether we’re going to watch the Pens game or the Pirates game.

11. You embrace homesickness.

Really want to move far, far away from Pittsburgh? Then, you must really like feeling homesick – for the food, all there is to do, the sports teams, the entertainment, and the people.

Which of the 11 reasons, if any, for moving away from Pittsburgh do you agree with? Let us know in the comments! Then, click here to read about 10 more reasons you should move away from Pittsburgh (tongue-in-cheek, of course).