12 Thoughts Everyone Has in Utah When Winter is Coming

Winter in Utah. It’s magical, what with the powdery snow and the sparkly lights at Temple Square and the hot chocolate food trucks. Also...it’s cold and icy and slushy and sometimes days pass before you remember that the sky is blue because all you can see is grey, grey inversion.

Winter isn’t here yet, but it’s coming. These might be just a few of the thoughts you’ll have in the coming weeks.

1. Where did I put that bin of winter clothing?

Every Utah family has one...a bin of gloves, hats, boots and scarves. Now you just have to find it BEFORE the first major snowstorm. Otherwise, you’ll be at Target with everyone else, fighting over the very last pair of hideously ugly winter boots in the store and feeling bad that you’re spending $59.95 for them. Don’t worry — you’ll find that bin in January.

2. Where can I hide my guy’s cargo shorts so he won’t find them until May?

Seriously, Utah men. You look ridiculous standing in a snowbank, scraping ice off your windshield while wearing cargo shorts and a hoodie.

3. Should I winterize the swamp cooler now, or wait another couple weeks?

If you have a swamp cooler, this is the conundrum. Do you winterize now and suffer through as many as four more weeks of 80-degree weather? Or do you enjoy the cool air today, only to wake up to four inches of snow tomorrow?

4. I guess it’s time for that annual flu shot.

People separate into two camps for this one: those who think a flu shot is vital, and those who think it’s either a waste of time or a government conspiracy of some sort. If you’re in the first camp, now’s the time to seek out that shot -- flu season is right around the corner.

5. I should hit that sale at Walgreens.

Regardless of whether or not you’re getting a shot, you should still stock up on some over-the-counter cold/flu medication, tissues and soup. Because when you get sick (and you will), you don’t want to have to go out in the cold for supplies.

6. I wonder what a hotel room in St. George costs?

If you’re lucky, you have relatives in St. George (or one of the many warm, sunny Southern Utah towns). If not, it’s time to start thinking about booking that weekend trip to get away from the cold weather and nasty inversion.

7. What in the world am I going to do with these kids?

Utah winter weekends are long, long, long. You can’t send them out to jump on the trampoline when it’s covered in snow, and there’s only so many hours of Xbox they should play in a 24-hour period. Try something new this winter -- take up snowshoeing or stock up on family board games. Better yet, book yourself a cruise and leave them with their grandparents.

8. These tires don’t look THAT bad...do they?

It’s not fun to spend money on tires. After all, once they’re on your car you’re never even going to notice them again. Which is the point. Driving around on Utah’s slushy, icy or snow-covered roads is dangerous enough. Doing it on bald tires is ridiculous. Get yourself to the tire store NOW. Otherwise, be prepared for a six-hour wait the day of the first major snowstorm.

9. It’s almost ski/snowboard season!

Some Utahns actually LIKE winter. They can’t wait ‘til the slopes open so they can enjoy Utah’s finest natural resource: snow. It really is the best in the world, and it’s right here in our backyard! (If you didn’t get those bald tires replaced, take the ski bus up the canyon).

10. Yum...hot chocolate.

There’s nothing like a steaming, hot cup of hot chocolate on a Utah winter day. It warms you up from the inside and makes you feel cozy. Did you know that Stephen’s Sipping Hot Cocoa is a Utah product? The Farmington company has created a confection that's way, way tastier than that packet of generic-brand stuff. Warm your cocoa up even more with just a tiny bit of peppermint schnapps or Bailey’s Irish Cream.

11. How much money is in the savings account?

When winter’s around the corner, so is Christmas. Which might mean spending tons of cash on presents for people you hardly know or barely like. Now is the perfect time to declare that you’ve decided all this blatant consumerism is ruining America, and you’re going to have a homemade Christmas and exchange hand-knitted scarves instead of jewelry, clothes and electronics.

12. Can Dad really handle another winter of snow shoveling?

If you have elderly parents, it’s time to start worrying about the snow shoveling. If Dad will let you hire the kid down the street, great. If not, you might get that call telling you that he’s suffered a heart attack or a stroke. Maybe you should partake in the consumer Christmas after all and buy him a snowblower.

Winter is coming! What are your thoughts?