Minneapolis October 15, 2017
8 Unwritten Rules Every Minneapolitan Lives By ‘Til Death
Everyone in Minneapolis knows that there are a few solid dos and don’ts in order to be a resident of the city. Breaking any of these rules won’t necessarily land you in jail, but could make you a pariah to the rest of the city’s residents. If you want to call yourself a real Minneapolitan, here are eight unwritten rules you must abide by ’til death.
1. The only way to survive through the winter is by using downtown's skyway system.
Minneapolis is famous for their sidewalks in the sky, and they're meant to be used. Avoid going outside in the winter at all costs, or possibly freeze to death.
2. Show your love for Prince, whenever possible.
Make sure to slip anecdotes about your time at Paisley Park into any conversation, paint murals, and worship the Purple One. This unwritten rule is one of the most important; if you hate Prince, you can't stay here.
3. NEVER order a "soda."
It's pop. If you're going to insist otherwise, we're just going to shun you.
4. You can't claim to be a Minneapolitan if you haven't gone to a show at First Ave.
First Ave is a piece of rock and roll history. You have to see at least one show in this divey venue in your life. It's the most common sense unwritten rule we have in the city, and it's also part of Prince's history (see rule 2).
5. Make time in your week to freely complain about how ugly U.S. Bank Stadium is.
Sure, the Metrodome wasn't exactly pretty, but is this bird-killing monstrosity really worth over a billion dollars to build?
6. Drinking a "greenie" from Tony Jaros' might be gross, but it's a rite of passage.
A greenie is a drink served out of a plastic cup and is comprised of vodka, soda water, and some mysterious powder that turns it radioactive green. You won't enjoy drinking it, but it's an unwritten rule you must follow in order to be a full-blooded Minneapolitan.
7. Refer to anything more than 30 minutes out of the city as "the middle of nowhere."
Rogers? Shakopee? Circle Pines? The state of Wisconsin? Totally the boonies. You won't see us there.
8. If you're not a college student, do not spend any time in bro-centric Dinkytown.
If you're over the age of 22, you know that Dinkytown is absolutely insufferable. The only loophole to the unwritten Dinkytown rule is if you're going to Al's Breakfast.
These are just some of the dos and don’ts to follow if you live in Minneapolis. We didn’t want to seem too restrictive in our list, but we know there are a million other unwritten rules. What Minneapolis unwritten rules do you live by? Let us know in the comments below.
Do you love Minneapolis? Read
15 Reasons Why Minneapolis Will Always Be In My Heart.