Posted in Denver
December 20, 2016
22 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Denver
The population of Denver continues to swell rapidly, and newcomers are showing up at our doorstep each and every day. But if you ask any self-respecting Mile High resident, they’ll tell you straight up that you should never move to Denver – never, ever. From gaping potholes and summer snow showers to an over abundance of beer and outdoor activities, here are 22 reasons to stay away from the Mile High City. I mean it.
Truth. On November 16, 2016, temperatures in Denver leapt to 78 degrees, breaking a record high set in 1941. The very next day, on November 17, we got the first snow of the season.
...especially in July.
...especially after a fresh blanket of snow falls or the roads are frozen over with black ice. If anything, it fuels the agro-Colorado-driver's fire.
The syndrome is real.
Only in Denver, indeed!
Who else is still feeling the pain of that Chiefs loss!?!? Gut punch.
You'll never be able to get drunk at sea level again. Don't say I didn't warn you.
What the heck is a venti?
The Mile High City has so many charming coffee shops and local roasters, it's darn near impossible to pick a favorite. (Note: Starbucks is for losers.)
With over 50 craft breweries in the Denver city limits and more than 200 in the state of Colorado, you can't help but become a beer snob (aka connoisseur). Long live the microbrew!
Just because it's legal, doesn't mean everybody's doing it. Or are they?
...all ski season. Don't even think about staying in the city after a fresh dump. That would be sacrilege!
Gross.
Colorado truly has too much beauty for transplants to handle. For your own safety, steer clear! You've been warned.
Hideous. Repulsive even.
A lot. And nobody likes to play in the snow. Am I right?
Seriously folks, it's the type of weather that warrants staying indoors and drinking hot tea while listening to records. Is that boring or what?
We're talking hats, mittens, scarves, boots, coats, and all sorts of other accessories you'll have to purchase.
And flat tires.
Tranquility in the city? Ugh.
Hoards of people are moving to Denver every day. Don't join them. What do you want to be? A robot?
Another reason to avoid the Mile High City is that 16 million flatlanders visit every year, and here are 20 Surefire Ways To Spot A Tourist In Denver.
