Posted in Washington December 16, 2016 by

15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Washington

Life in Washington is pretty amazing… and we’d like to keep it that way. While we love it when people visit, we also sometimes roll our eyes when they talk about moving here. So the next time you overhear someone planning out their perfect existence in the Evergreen State, rattle off this list of reasons to reconsider. You’ll be doing them a favor.

1. Winters are too cold, and summers are too hot.
Chad Johnston / Flickr
Experiencing all four seasons comes at a cost. Washingtonians pretty much hate life from November to March, and if they live in the land of no air conditioning (Western Washington), they hate it again in July.
2. The sporting events are never any fun.
John Patzer / Flickr
No one enjoys Seahawks games.
3. Our Bavarian village isn’t even really Bavaria.
Tony Bowden / Flickr
And it's not even that beautiful. Wink.
4. Stoners are everywhere.
Thomas Hawk / Flickr
Pot is legal, so naturally that means Washingtonians are all walking around in a relaxed and open-minded state. Yikes.
5. You could be annihilated by the major earthquake we’re due for at any time.
Maciek Lulko / Flickr
It’s true. We’re due for an epic earthquake that is estimated to do a lot of damage… we just don’t know when.
6. If you choose to live on the coast, you’ll have to worry about tsunamis.
Lee Stone / Flickr
Not so relaxing now, is it?
7. Many of our restaurants have distracting views.
Ray's Boathouse Cafe and Catering Facebook
Ray’s Cafe in Seattle is a good example. How are we supposed to concentrate on our food when all this is going on?
8. You’ll have no excuse not to exercise.
Robert Ashworth / Flickr
Washington is one of the fittest states in the nation. There are beach trails, bike paths, ski resorts, mountain paths and swimming spots, not to mention the creative group exercise classes you’ll find in our cities and even some of our small towns. If you hate to move your body, you’d better stay away.
9. The San Juan Islands are pretty overrated.
Bob Schoenherr / Flickr
Yawn.
10. You’ll have way too many choices when it comes to food.
Jonathan Pio / Flickr
Farmers Markets to die for, fresh seafood, locally raised meat, asparagus, apples, pears, amazing Mexican food, some of the best pizza on the planet… need we go on? It’s too much.
11. You may have to sit outside if you want to go to a concert.
Panchenks / Flickr
How primitive.
12. There is a bit of a civil war.
Rivalry Clash Race Series / Flickr
You don’t want to get mixed up in this.
13. We invented Starbucks coffee and a lot of people don’t think it’s that great.
urbanbohemian / Flickr
So how good can Washington be, really? It’s not like Starbucks is that well known… or Amazon, Costco or Nordstrom...
14. We have volcanoes.
Paul VanDerWerf / Flickr
Big, scary volcanoes like Mt. St. Helens, which has erupted before.
15. Washington inspires way too much wanderlust.
Michael Matti / Flickr
You’ll be tempted to travel to every corner, which may cause you to fall way behind on your work.

So there you have it… 15 reasons to stay away from Washington. Of course, all things considered, it’s safe to say we still definitely live in the best state.

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