17 Things You Need To Consider If You’re Thinking About Leaving Arkansas

Arkansas has a pretty good retention rate. Most people who grow up here stay here. But what happens if you decide to cross those state lines and set up house in a place that is decidedly not Arkansas? Well, we have a hunch you’d have a long list of things that you’d miss terribly, even if you mostly like your new home. We don’t just mean your friends and family, either. We mean the whole Arkansas experience. So before you decide to take the plunge and move to Texas or Toledo or Timbuktu, check out this list and ask yourself if they have white cheese dip in Timbuktu. This list is also a good cultural primer for those just visiting far and distant lands. No need to confuse the patroness of that B&B in Vermont about the difference between dinner and supper.

1. You may not be able to find chocolate gravy anywhere else.

If you want chocolate gravy in the north, you’ll need to make it yourself.

2. The forecast for out-of-state white queso is grim.

We’re the state responsible for the invention of cheese dip, and most Arkansans who now live in different states complain frequently and loudly about their new homes’ lack of white cheese dip.

3. The food scene in general might not be so impressive or full of down home atmosphere.

I mean, where else can you find Indian food, authentic Mexican cuisine, amazing Vietnamese fare, and real, down home soul food all within the same square mile, mostly run by local families?

4. You’re really going to miss all our amazing state parks.

We have 52 state parks and 7 National Park Service sites, and they're some of the most amazing places in the world.

5. In fact, you’re going to miss a lot of the Natural State’s natural wonders.

With over 18 million forested acres, nowhere is more natural than Arkansas.

6. You’re not going to find better scenery than this:

Really. There’s nothing better.

7. Your new cost of living won’t beat the prices in Arkansas.

Arkansas has one of the lowest costs of living in the nation. Our Walmart prices may not really be $00.00, but they're pretty cheap.

8. You may find yourself wishing someone would call you “sweetie” or “honey.”

That sugar-sweet Arkansas demeanor? That’s not really a thing in other places.

9. There may not be as many amazing bodies of water.

That means you’ll have a harder time looking for lake time and planning your next float trip.

10. You may have to call the hogs alone.

What a sad thought.

11. Your new friends may not know anything about Arkansas.

Bless their hearts.

12. Those same new friends may not even know where Arkansas is.

Bless their hearts again.

(We’ve got a code red here. It’s a double bless-their-hearts. Code red, people. This is not a drill.)

Take three deep breaths, one intense facepalm, and report back to Arkansas at your earliest convenience.

13. People will notice your accent.

Your neighbors probably don’t notice that you say "fangers" instead of "fingers," but people from other places may call you out on it.

14. The tea may not be what you’re used to.

The saddest I’ve been this week is when my friend who recently moved to Maryland said the fast food restaurant she visited there didn’t have sweet tea.

15. The word “supper” may be confusing in your new land.

In other places, dinner means the evening meal. So if you’re having dinner around noon, like most Arkansans, you’re going to confuse some folks. Pictured above: you explaining the nuances of supper vs. dinner to your Yankee friend.

16. If you’re going to a health conscious place, you may want to pack your go-to deep fryer.

Unless you’re really into lightly crisped kale as your new go-to fried vegetable, which is fine. To each his own.

17. You’re going to miss Arkansas, even if you think you won’t.

Even if you’ve lived in a laid back small town and dreamed about big city living your whole life, you’re still going to miss the Natural State.

Why? Because there’s no place like home.

And you're always welcome here.

For surefire ways to spot a tourist, click here.

If you want to prevent your out-of-town friends and family from making classic mistakes during their trip to Arkansas, send them this list.