Ohio March 24, 2018
12 Surefire Ways To Spot Someone Who Just Moved To Ohio
Here in Ohio, it doesn’t take very long to spot someone that’s recently moved here.
It takes more than some Ohio State Buckeye apparel to fit in here. You should know where the good ice cream is. The depth of our potholes shouldn’t surprise you. And you shouldn’t own anything that even remotely resembles the colors of that state up north that shall not be named. The following are 12 surefire ways to spot someone who just moved to Ohio—and you can probably think of more.
1. Spotting deer on the road startles them.
Here in Ohio, you can expect a deer to charge at your car—or stay standing directly in front of it—while driving down just about any type of road. (Interstates are no exception.) Longtime Ohioans are no longer startled by this. You stop and/or swerve when you need to and simply carry on.
2. They can't name The Three C's.
This one is a true cause for concern. Even for outsiders, this shouldn't be that hard. Out-of-staters likely know our Columbus, Cincinnati and Cleveland pride runs deep. So if this one applies, there's a lot of educating you need to do.
3. They flock to Cedar Point and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame the second they arrive.
Lifelong Ohioans know there's so much more to the state than these world renowned attractions. And we visit them sparingly—and not during peak tourist season because we know better.
4. They have yet to throw out every piece of apparel that is gold and blue.
Here in the Buckeye State, you're just asking for us to hate you if you own even one item of Michigan apparel. It's just not right. And it's a dead giveaway you haven't been here very long.
5. They've never heard of Graeter's Ice Cream.
This one is quite sadly, really. And any upstanding Ohioan will immediately take them to the nearest location to experience the greatness.
6. They're shocked to learn that Ohio has islands.
Again, this one is a little sad. It only proves how sheltered their world view must be.
7. They can't name all the Ohio presidents.
This is probably the trickiest one on our list as there are a handful of lifelong Ohioans who can't even do this. So even if this one applies, you might want to cut them some slack and test them with the rest of the list. Just to be safe.
8. Whenever you mention Oxford or Athens they're suddenly impressed because they assume you've traveled internationally.
I guess we can't all be geography experts. But this one is extra helpful when you're on the fence about how long someone has actually lived here. Save it for last.
9. They've never heard of combining spaghetti with chili.
A longtime Ohioan will not only be familiar with this concept, but they'll likely have strong feelings about it one way or the other. We're divided when it comes to how appetizing this dish actually is, so if you get a blank stare or a confused look, it's a dead giveaway you're speaking with someone who hasn't been here every long.
10. They don't dip their French fries in their frosty.
Have a heart and don't let them miss out even for another minute. Show them how it's done, Ohioan.
11. They point out your "accent."
You have to give this one some time. Eventually, they'll follow suite with the rest of us and stop making absurd claims.
12. They don't reply when someone yells out "O-H."
Again, we have no choice but to be patient with this one. Soon, they'll heartily reply with an "I-O", just like the rest of us. <3
What else would you add to this list?
For more truths about life in the Buckeye State and Ohioans, check out our previous article:
These 15 Truths Reveal Just How Quirky Ohioans Really Are.