Montana December 14, 2016
15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Montana
The people who call Montana home know how amazing it truly is. And it’s not that we don’t enjoy it when people visit and love it as much as we do. That being said, Montanans do tend to roll their eyes at those who romanticize the Treasure State, as if it is a perfect paradise that will magically solve all their problems if they move here. Truth be told, there are some legitimate reasons not to move to Montana.
The next time your friend from college, extended family member or stranger on the internet starts to plan their magical life in Montana, list off these reasons and perhaps they’ll reconsider.
1. It gets really, really cold.
It gets unbearably cold. Most people don’t even go outside for months.
2. It’s so cold, some of our glaciers haven’t even melted yet.
Just go to Glacier National Park, you'll see.
3. There’s not much of a nightlife.
The good quality bars and music venues are so few and far between that people often have to resort to hiking, camping, skiing, fishing, stargazing and bonfire conversations to entertain themselves. Can you imagine?
4. Montanans eat a lot of bull testicles.
Rocky Mountain oysters are not actually oysters at all.
5. Staying anonymous and invisible is difficult.
People are always greeting you warmly in public and waving to you as you drive by.
6. There are too many beers to choose from.
Montana has more quality breweries than we can keep track of. Too many decisions lead to stress.
7. Rush hour traffic doesn’t exist here.
You might think that’s a good thing, but what excuse would you have for being late somewhere?
So many bears. Montana has the largest grizzly population in the lower 48 states.
9. There’s that whole supervolcano thing.
There’s a volcano in Yellowstone National Park that could easily wipe out everyone in the state if it blew.
10. If you’re a creature of comfort, you might not survive in Montana.
Depending on where you live, you may not be able to just go out and buy a new pair of shoes or find good sushi.
11. The cell phone service leaves much to be desired.
We’re working on that issue… but not very fast.
12. There are a lot more cows in Montana than people.
Surely you wouldn’t prefer the company of cows, right?
13. You might get bitten by a rattlesnake.
It could happen. Is that a risk you’d be willing to take?
14. There really is no such thing as a snow day.
Montanans are very tough, and they’re used to snow. So if you’re hoping to get out of driving to work or sending your kids to school just because of a little blizzard, prepare to get your hopes dashed.
15. Seriously, did we mention there are BEARS everywhere?
Why would you want to live in a place where you could get eaten by a bear?
Stay away. 😉