Posted in Massachusetts History April 23, 2022 by

Not Many People Realize That These 14 Things Are Actually Illegal In Massachusetts

The law can be a slippery mistress. One moment you’re using a squirt gun in Marlboro (technically illegal!), and the next you’re being clapped in irons. In order to help you avoid any such unfortunate legal gaffes, we’ve collected a list of things that seem perfectly above-board until you learn what weird laws in Massachusetts are actually on the books.

1. In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, it is illegal to scare a pigeon. You could face a $20 fine or a month of jail time.
Flickr/Thomas Hawk
2. Sprinkling salt on the street. Old wives tales be darned.
Leonid Mamchenkov
At least, in Boston. Boston City Ordinance 16-2.5 "Sprinkling Ashes, Etc., on Streets; Removal of Manure" states that "no person shall, except in accordance with a permit from the Commissioner of Public Works, or as provided in subsection 16­-2.16, sprinkle, scatter, put, or place any ashes, cinders, earth, dirt, gravel, sawdust, salt, or mixture of salt, in or upon a street, or without such permit remove any manure or dirt from any street." So I guess city salt trucks aren't in the wrong, but don't you dare salt your own sidewalk.
3. You cannot bring a rooster into a bakery. We don't care how well behaved that rooster has been, he does not deserve to be rewarded with a croissant.
Flickr/Alexander Baxevanis
4. It's Illegal to own more than three cats in Dudley.
Vladimir Pustovit
This isn't even one of those old-timey laws left over from colonial times. Oh no - this law came about after a Dudley resident complained about his neighbors 15 cats messing up his perfect lawn. In response, the town imposed a $100-per-day fine for anyone owning more than three felines.
5. In Attleboro, it's forbidden for children to play tag or other running games.
Flickr/Aaron Brinker
This law isn't actually on the books, but it's still pretty crazy. In 2006, one school in Attleboro decided to outlaw tag and other running games because they were deemed to be "dangerous" and "exclusionary." Sorry, kids.
6. Singing only part of the national anthem.
Flickr/Gage Skidmore
That's right: if you don't commit to singing the whole song, you could face a fine of up to $100 dollars. So the next time you feel like living on the edge, hum only a few bars under your breath at the grocery store.
7. You can't take a bath without a prescription. The next time you feel a little grungy, make sure to give your doctor a call.
Flickr/Mikael Wiman
But interestingly, another law states that you are required to bath before going to bed. Good luck figuring that one out.
8. It's illegal for dogs to ride in ambulances.
Flickr/steeleman204
I guess this one sort of makes sense, but what are you supposed to do if you break your leg while out walking your dog? Just tie him to a tree or something?
9. It's illegal for bullets to be used as currency. No mention of whether currency can be used in place of bullets.
Flickr/Paul Ramos
10. In Marblehead, it's illegal to cross the road on Sunday unless it's an absolute emergency.
Flickr / Lia's_Photos
The real question is, what constitutes an emergency? I'm thinking getting a new carton of Ben & Jerry's is a pretty serious circumstance.
11. You are required by law to remove your false teeth before intercourse.
Flickr/gingiber
Can we really be upset about this one? No one wants to risk those dentures popping out in the middle of things.
12. It's illegal to hang a vending machine on a utility pole. (What????)
Flickr/Joe Goldberg
So many questions.
13. If you deface a milk carton, you're subject to a $10 fine.
Flickr/Joe Goldberg
What has the milk ever done to you but nourish your ungrateful bones?
14. Swearing or "blaspheming" is technically illegal...unless you're under 16 and at a sporting event.
Flickr/Jill Robidoux
Pretty sure this also doesn't apply if you're talking to a Yankees fan.

We’re all just a bunch of outlaws here in Massachusetts, harassing pigeons, swearing in the street, and defacing the darn milk carton.

Check out more weird Massachusetts laws here.

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Weird Laws in Massachusetts

April 28, 2022
Celina Colby

Why are there so many crazy laws in Massachusetts?

Massachusetts was first settled by Pilgrims in 1620 so the residents have had a long time to come up with laws about whatever’s irritating them in the moment. Massachusetts, and Boston in particular, also looked very different when a lot of these laws were established. Cows were roaming the Boston Common, grazing to their hearts desire and people were generally pretty uptight and puritan.

Of course, most of these laws are not enforced in contemporary life, although they technically remain on the books of the state’s legal system. Imagine if Massachusetts was just becoming an organized society now, we’d have rules like no rooting for New York sports teams and only iced coffee at Dunkin can be ordered year round.

What other weird laws are there in Massachusetts?

Here’s a good one for you: It’s illegal to take a lion the movies. Big cats just don’t appreciate cinema the way they should.