Posted in Massachusetts History April 23, 2022 by

These 16 Crazy Laws in Massachusetts Will Leave You Scratching Your Head In Wonder

From parking tickets to Kinder Eggs, sometimes the law works in mysterious ways. With a little help from Dumblaws.com, we’ve gathered together some of the most bizarre laws and regulations in Massachusetts. Most of these laws are still on the books, though they may not be enforced much these days, we hope anyway. Check out these weird laws in Massachusetts and make sure you’re living within the law.

1. At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
Wikimedia Commons/Katrin Morenz
You're there to mourn, not munch. Nothing more unsightly than a grieving person eating more than three sandwiches.
2. It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients. Keep this fun fact about Massachusetts in mind when you visit ailing friends.
Flickr/NTNUmedicine
Violators may be fined up to $50 and sentenced to not more than 2 months in jail.
3. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
Flickr/Joshua Hayworth
I'm assuming this one is to spare passerby from the tremendous din of one's snoring. To be honest, some modern apartments could stand to abide by this law.
4. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. If anything is proof that Fashion Police existed, this is it.
Flickr/Nemodus photos
I'm sure the livestock was exempt.
5. All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
Wikimedia Commons / John Jacobson
Don't you remember that part in the Bible?
6. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. Front seat, totally fair game. The real question is, does the gorilla have to call shot gun?
Pixabay/vlada11
There's definitely a story behind this one.
7. A woman may not be on top during sexual activities. Give the lady a break, she's been working hard all day.
Flickr/jurvetson
Not to mention, she might topple off and hurt herself. Safety first.
8. Candy may not contain more than 1% alcohol.
Wikimedia Commons/Evan-Amos
"Chapter 270: Section 8. Selling candy containing alcohol. Section 8. Whoever sells to a person any candy enclosing or containing liquid or syrup having more than one per cent of alcohol shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars."
9. Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
Wikimedia Commons/Slick
This one was repealed in 2000....but still, that's pretty behind the times. Lot of hooligans running around the streets of Massachusetts in the '90s.
10. Boston: No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. That just sounds sensible.
lesliejonesphotography.com
Those are ACTUAL bears in Boston Common in 1929. Was this a thing??
11. Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Only the organ for those Massachusetts puritans.
Wikimedia Commons/Shahn, Ben
Nothing like a bit of illicit fiddling to get the blood pumping.
12. Boston: Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.
Wikimedia Commons/Jerchel
I'm sure Governor Baker has his Sundays booked 'til Spring.
13. Concord: One may not sell or distribute bottled water in Concord, MA.
Wikimedia Commons
Instead, all residents must rise with the sun every morning and dig the day's well.
14. Marlborough: One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.
Wikimedia Commons
Well, there go my weekend plans.
15. Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town’s mayor.
Wikimedia Commons
Politicians just don't deliver on their promises anymore.
16. And finally....tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Flickr/Marit & Toomas Hinnosaar
It would be against the laws of nature. I'm looking at you, New York.

Nothing like a list of weird laws to show you how much things change with the passage of time. Are you in favor of bringing back any of these old-timey edicts? Share with your friends and let us know in the comments!

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Weird Laws in Massachusetts

April 28, 2022
Celina Colby

Why does Massachusetts have all these weird laws?

Pilgrims first landed on Massachusetts in 1620 and right away began trying to make a structured society. Because the state was just raw terrain at that point, and later Boston was still a fairly rural town, many of the laws created to keep society in order then don’t make sense now. For example, people rarely have cows on the Boston Common anymore, though I wouldn’t totally put it out of the question.

Of course, most of these laws are not enforced in contemporary life, although they technically remain on the books of the state’s legal system. Imagine if Massachusetts was just becoming an organized society now, we’d have rules like no rooting for New York sports teams and no Starbucks franchises within state limits.

What other crazy laws exist in Massachusetts?

Some other notable laws include:

-It’s illegal to take a lion the movies. Big cats just don’t appreciate cinema the way they should.

-In Boston it’s illegal to take a bath without a doctor’s prescription. But just to keep things interesting it’s also illegal to go to bed without bathing. Riddle me that one, Bostonians.

-It’s illegal in Massachusetts to scare a pigeon. Have you been to the Boston Common? That one’s definitely not being upheld.