Delaware December 14, 2016
14 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Delaware
With plenty of people visiting family in Delaware this Holiday season, you might notice that outsiders will start to enjoy our tiny state, and they may point out how full of secrets the First State really is. Well, when they begin to talk about how they might “just end up here,” you can send them away from our already-crowded slice of paradise by sharing this list below.
During these uncertain times, please keep safety in mind and consider adding destinations to your bucket list to visit at a later date.
1. Everything is in the middle of nowhere.
For being in the northeast, Delaware is just a bunch of chicken farms and tiny towns. It's not well connected to the rest of the northeast at all. In fact, it might as well be an entire world away from Philly, Baltimore and DC, right?
2. Actually, forget that. It's way too urban.
Come on - Wilmington, New Castle, Newark? I can see them all from the highway - too much city life here for me.
3. Plus, Wilmington is too dangerous.
All of it. Every part of Wilmington is dangerous, don't go there. No matter what cool speakeasy or park you read about - it's all a trap. Don't move to Delaware, you'll end up in a bad part of Wilmington. After all, the state is so tiny that it's impossible to avoid.
4. Delaware seafood just can't hold up to Maryland's.
Sure, it's cheaper, and often fresher, and gets shipped around the country to some of the best restaurants, but Maryland's got the market cornered on "Too Much Old Bay".
5. The beaches? Forget it - they're WAY too crowded.
All the time - after all, millions of New Yorkers, New Jersians, and Pennsylvanians make their way to Delaware's beaches every year, and what do
6. Especially Rehoboth Beach - it's touristy and corporate.
If you're a summer sellout, I guess you might like Rehoboth. Otherwise, steer clear. The Downtown will suck you in!
7. You're not missing much - the entire state is highway, anyway.
That 14 miles from The Delaware Memorial Bridge until you pay the toll into Easton, well, there's nothing really more to the state than that stretch of I-95.
8. There's really nothing to do here - the whole state's flat.
No hills, no canyons, nothing at all to see or do. Maybe you'd like Delaware if you only like watching TV or sleeping.
9. Oh, and fine dining? Good luck finding anything other than a chain restaurant here.
There are hardly any mom and pop or hole in the wall restaurants in the entire state! I'll tell you one thing - you certainly won't stumble upon amazing seafood in the middle of a cornfield in this weird, boring state.
10. You won't even find a nice spot to hike in Delaware, no matter how hard you look.
Delaware's state parks are boring - you might as well fall asleep as you trek through them. There aren't amazing historic landmarks, old farms, and gorgeous trails to check out. It's really just, well, flat roads. There's certainly no reason to move to Delaware if you're a nature-lover.
11. Dover's really only good for NASCAR races, anyway.
Sure, people love their NASCAR races, but beyond race weekends, there's nothing cool going on in the capital city. Firefly? That's just a little local concert.
12. Delaware's government makes everything difficult - even surf fishing.
You'll have to go through all sorts of trouble to get a surf fishing permit, which totally isn't worth it. It's not like the Delaware Bay and Atlantic Ocean have some of the most amazing surf fishing spots on the eastern seaboard - you won't regret missing these unbelievable surf fishing spots. The one-page application is just a lot, and I get that.
13. Plus, everything in the state is REALLY old.
I guess that comes with being the First State, but who would want to move to Delaware if all the historic ruins from World War II and American Colonialism are still there, taking up valuable space?
14. And everything's not just old, it's all haunted.
The Ghosts of Fort Delaware in particular scare me - former Confederate soldiers, seeking to haunt those who imprisoned them? I'll stay away, thanks.
So there you have it – so many reasons to tell everyone you meet to stay far away from the first state, and certainly convince them not to move to Delaware. Some people are stubborn, though, and they’ve fallen for the charm that the diamond state showed them, so if you can’t convince your friends and family to stay away, you might as well acquaint them with
the struggles of life in Delaware early on.