Alaskans, we stick together. If you come into our beautiful state and trash it, we will want you out ASAP. Same goes for dissing our culture, disturbing our wildlife or downplaying the significance of our traditions and livelihood. On that same note, if you respect this great land we will welcome you with open arms and treat you like family.
1. Ask us if we live in an igloo.
Go home, you're drunk.
2. Or if we have pet polar bears.
Where do people even come up with this stuff? Nuts!
3. Make a reference about how hunting is mean and cruel.
Because buying meat in the grocery store from 'who knows where' is better? Heck no! Responsible hunting is a remarkable privilege and we rely on it to survive and to feed our families.
4. Say that you think dog mushing is not humane.
Dumbest comment ever considering handlers lives generally revolve around catering to the health and wellness of their dogs. Plus, I mean, do you see how happy those dogs look? Must be the warm booties and cute jackets keeping them nice and cozy!
5. Diss the SeaWolves.
Oh no you didn't!
6. Drive way under the speed limit.
We get it, the scenery is distracting. But pull over or speed up, two options and you MUST choose one or the other.
7. Complain about the price of living in your neck of the woods.
I mean, $15 for a gallon of orange juice and you're complaining about WHAT? Shush!
8. Say snowmobile instead of snowmachine.
Slednecks unite, brah!
9. Feed us farmed salmon.
Consider yourself removed from the friend zone!
10. Recommend that we drive a Prius to reduce our carbon footprint.
I mean, have you even been to Alaska? We'd rather brave the storm than hide from it...
11. Ask us why we don’t recycle up here.
Because um... we do! Yippie! But I guess that is a personal choice, huh?
12. Say that the only place with anything going on is Anchorage.
We get it, Anchorage has tons of fun stuff to do. But so does the rest of Alaska!
13. On the flipside, tell us there is nothing worthwhile outside of the city.
As the saying goes, "real" Alaska begins when you leave the city...
14. Get too close to a wild animal to take a picture.
They are wild for a reason. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
15. Leave your trash in our beautiful outdoor playground.
Is it really that hard to clean up after yourselves?
16. Or your fish carcasses on the banks.
Is it really that hard to just throw them in the water? No!
17. If you do anything to attract a wild animal to a populous area, which might then result in the animal being euthanized, we will harness a lot of hatred for your stupidity.
A special kind of anger is fueled by this fire.
18. Diss our incredible (and beautiful) clothing.
Which just so happens to be some of the warmest in the world.
19. Mention taking away our gun rights.
Don't you dare mess with that second amendment!
20. Tell an Alaskan that they have to leave Alaska.
Now those are some fightin’ words.