Utahns are pretty amazing people but we have certain characteristics that set us apart from other Americans.
1) Utah drivers speed 10 miles over the limit, run every yellow light and never use our turn signals.
2) We’re often surrounded by kids. Lots of ‘em.
3) Because we have all those kids, we’re usually driving a minivan or an SUV, often with stick family decals on the rear window.
4) Some Utahns still have their Mitt Romney 2012 bumper stickers. They just can't let it go.
5) We choose an allegiance early: either University of Utah or BYU. You’ll see us wearing hats, hoodies and t-shirts in either red or blue wherever we go, even if we didn’t attend either school.
6) Lots of Utahns wear a ring that says CTR, which stands for Choose the Right. It’s a Mormon thing, but could just as easily refer to political leanings.
7) Utahns all have straight, white teeth. With the Osmonds as our role models, and a state full of dentists, it’s almost guaranteed.
8) We’ll defend the Utah Jazz vehemently -- even though the rest of the country hates them.
9) Utahns are the only ones on the road when there’s 5 inches of snow. Or 15 inches.
10) We’ll try to drop our kids off at school, even in a blizzard. In Utah, schools stay open unless President Obama declares a state of emergency. Hey, we don’t want to have to entertain all those kids all day!
11) On the other hand, college students never attend school when it snows. Because why would you sit in a political science class when there’s fresh powder?
12) We ask for fry sauce and are appalled with the blank looks you get on your faces.
13) Utahns are often mistaken for nannies. That woman might be 24 years old, driving a minivan and pushing two kids in that double stroller, but check her left ring finger. She’s already been married for four years and she’s probably got a mortgage and real furniture.
14) By and large, Utahn’s aren’t drunks. But we often slur our words. "Mountains" is pronounced "moun’ns." The city of Layton is "Lay-en."
15) You’ll find Utah families with toddlers and babies everywhere, including bistros full of businesspeople during lunch on a weekday, fancy restaurants with dress codes and R-rated movies at 10:30 p.m..
16) When a Utahn gets TOO friendly, beware. He’s trying to add you to his downline. If you want to sell unregulated "supplements" or special juice that’s guaranteed to help you lose weight or cure cancer, then you’re in luck.
17) Sometimes for the sake of modesty, Utah women have a slightly off-kilter sense of style. You’ll see them wearing knee shorts, tank tops with a t-shirt underneath, calf-length skirts, and maxi dresses (also with a t-shirt underneath).
18) Utahns are still so proud of the fact that our state hosted the Olympics that we wear our Olympic Committee 2002 parkas everywhere we go.
19) Utahns are easy to spot on vacation because we’re so trusting. We’ll let our little kids run around unattended at the amusement park, keep our wallets in the unzipped front pocket of our backpacks at the outdoor market and strike up conversations with bipolar homeless people on the subway.
20) You can quickly spot Utahns in your local grocery store when you hear them talking to each other in the liquor section, “You can get VODKA here!” or, “I didn’t even know they made this many kinds of wine!”
21) You’ll see a similar reaction when we realize the beer is stronger than 3 percent.
22) We all have a crush on at least one Salt Lake Real soccer player. Say, “Kyle Beckerman” and watch our eyes light up.
What other ways can you spot a Utahn? Let us know in the comments below.
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