Who’s Entitled to the Middle Seat Armrest? (And Other Airplane Etiquette Hot Takes)

We all love the idea of travel. But the actual act of getting there? That’s a different story. Between TSA agents critiquing toiletries and airport sandwiches that cost as much as a one-way ticket on Spirit, by the time you finally get to your seat, patience is usually running on (Jet-A) fumes.

Once we’re crammed into that metal tube, we enter a society with very specific rules. And no, they aren’t written on the safety card. They're unspoken (except, of course, on endless Reddit threads), and they're absolutely necessary for survival in the formerly-friendly skies. These are my big three.

#1: Unless You're in a Middle Seat, Elbows off the Armrests

The battle for the armrest is the silent war of the skies. However, if we allow logic and humanity to prevail, the rule is simple: The middle seat gets both armrests. 

Let’s look at the breakdown. If you’re on the aisle, you have infinite legroom on one side and the freedom to escape to the restroom without performing a gymnastics routine. Folks in the window seat have a view and a wall to sleep against—and can easily ignore most everything going on with their seatmates. The middle seat passenger, though? They're the filling in a human sandwich: no view, no legroom, no wall, no escape route. Their only "perk" is not having to fly the plane themselves. So, let them have the armrests. It’s a pity prize, sure, but it’s the only one they’re getting.

#2: Decline to Recline

Yes, your ticket technically entitles you to recline. You paid for the button; you want to use the button. We get it. But just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it—especially without signalling your intention. I never recline if I'm in economy, and anyone who reclines into my space will quickly figure out just where my knees are. There's just not enough room for their seat and my legs, and my femurs are not foldable.

If you feel you must recline (maybe you got an upgrade to a section with more legroom), do so with a dose of common sense and courtesy. A quick glance behind you is all it takes to ensure you aren’t about to shatter a laptop screen or send a cup of hot coffee into a stranger's lap. Also, let's read the room. If it’s a 45-minute flight to Chicago, do you really need to recline? And if service is happening, stay upright. Nobody wants to eat their pretzels while staring into your scalp.

#3: Deplaning Isn't a Race You're Going to Win

We’ve all seen it. The seatbelt light dings, everyone stands up at once, necks bent at weird angles against the overhead bins, waiting for the door to open. Spoiler alert: Standing up early does not make the jet bridge connect faster. Deplaning works best as a zipper merge. Row 10 goes, then Row 11, then Row 12. Trying to sprint from Row 34 to the front while people are wrestling carry-ons out of the bins only creates a traffic jam and foments resentment. Unless your connection is so tight that you’re already sprinting mentally, just sit down. You’ll get off the plane eventually. We promise.

Oh, and no matter what, keep your shoes on.

Safe travels, and remember, we’re all in this together. Need some inspiration for your next trip? Check out Only In Your State’s itinerary planner.