Massachusetts October 31, 2016
16 Sure-Fire Ways To Make A Bay Stater Mad
There are just some things that really irk Massachusetts natives. New Englanders might be known for keeping things cool and collected, but if you make any of these mistakes, expect a bit of fury from your Bay State friends.
1. Ask us why we don’t have a Boston accent.
There’s an entire state attached to Boston. We hate when people forget about all the other amazing regions in Massachusetts.
2. Or make fun of us when we don’t pronounce our Rs.
Not everyone drops their Rs, but those who do will not appreciate your mockery.
3. Go to a chain seafood restaurant.
Heavens above, just why? There are so many amazing places to get straight-from-the-water seafood in this state. It breaks our hearts to see a full parking lot at a Red Lobster.
4. Assume anything about our political views.
Yes, Massachusetts votes blue. That doesn’t mean everyone here is a hardcore democrat. Our population is a rainbow of different political camps, so ask before you start making donkey jokes.
5. Call us Massholes.
Actually, some people wear the name like a badge of honor. But implying that we aren’t the most considerate drivers in the whole wide world is just rude. We know where to find our turn signals – right under that layer of dust.
6. Ask for “chocolate sprinkles.”
Those are jimmies, and they’re delicious.
7. Butcher our town names.
Okay, so you might get a pass on this one because we have some really baffling pronunciations in play. If you can properly say “Amherst, Gloucester, Leicester, Peabody and Worcester” five times fast, we might bring you into the fold.
8. Tell us Starbucks is better than Dunkin’ Donuts.
If you enjoy shelling out 20% of your paycheck for 20 ounces of whipped cream and hint of coffee, be our guest. We’ll be over here with our box of Munchkins and coffee ordered “regular.”
9. Say that thing about parking the car in Harvard Yard.
It’s impossible to park in Harvard Yard. Hearing you massacre a Boston accent while trotting out that dead horse is almost too horrific to bear.
10. Ask if the clam chowder has tomatoes.
The server is judging you. As politely as they explain that it does not, they are definitely judging you. As is everyone at your table.
11. Saying you’re going to take the commuter rail to “Western Mass.”
You’re going to drag the train behind you to the Pioneer Valley and the Berkshires? Because the commuter rail stops at Worcester, and that is not Western Mass.
12. Make fun of candlepin bowling.
We know how to play both kinds, but candlepin is what we grew up with (probably because the balls are so small) and we’ll never stop defending it.
13. Wonder if the winters are “really that bad," or tell us other places have it worse.
When you’re digging out your car for the third time in a week, you’ll understand.
14. In Boston, put a space saver in a parking spot you didn't clear.
That's a good way to lose some teeth, especially in certain neighborhoods.
15. Ask why we’re wearing shorts, a rain jacket and snow boots.
BECAUSE YOU JUST NEVER KNOW IN MASSACHUSETTS.
16. Ask us if we’d ever move away.
Not a chance.
This place may have its quirks, but it’s pretty amazing. Check out this list of the
15 things people miss most about Massachusetts when they leave.