We all love Vermont. The scenery, foliage, lakes, skiing, barns, the people… Living in Vermont we have it so good, but something has to drive us nuts, right? Here are 17 things you’ve grown to undeniably hate if you’re from Vermont.
Many towns have one, if any stoplights. It’s pretty much smooth sailing here, unless it’s leaf peeping season. In which case, there will be unexpected traffic in the form of a flatlander slamming on the breaks when they see a few red leaves. Peak foliage can incite full on road rage.
Vermonters may greet you with a (forced) smile, but you will never, ever be a “True Vermonter” unless you were born here. The more generations your family history goes back the better. My advice to flatlanders: only admit it if you absolutely have to.
3. Waiting in line.
Waiting in long lines doesn’t happen too often, and therefore becomes annoying quickly. You chat with the store clerks as they ring up items. We know how to multitask and work efficiently.
4. Bad drivers.
If a vehicle moves too fast, too slow or too inconsistent, it’s natural to first look at the license plate to see if they are from out of state. And, yes, they usually are.
5. Fake syrup.
We only eat the real stuff here. I’m still surprised when I see a large syrup display at the grocery store. Seriously? Who buys that imposter sludge calling itself syrup?
6. Banks that ask you for identification.
The local bank tellers know you, ask about your family, how your home improvement project is coming along, and if you ever found your lost cat. They are on your holiday card list and went to your birthday party in kindergarten.
We like our scenery unobstructed and if we have to drive on the highway we like to do it without advertisements in our faces, thank you very much.
8. Mega stores.
There may not be many stores in your town, but they probably have everything you need. We stand behind our “Shop Local” philosophy. If you absolutely need something from Target, go online.
9. People who say 60 degrees outside is cold.
Are you kidding?! 60 degrees is flip flop weather!
10. Crappy beer.
Nothing against the Bud Lights of the world, but in a state that has more breweries per capita than any other state, we know our beer. We take pride in our Heady Topper, Rock Art and Long Trail breweries.
11. Individually wrapped slices of cheese.
American cheese dyed with yellow #5 and wrapped in plastic can be borderline offensive. With Cabot, Grafton and Vermont Farmstead in our backyard, what more do we need?
12. People who hate animals.
Vermont is a very dog-friendly place. People have chicken coops in their backyards and you pass cow pastures wherever you go. You may not have a pet of your own, but you respect animals and the people who love them.
13. Road salt.
Road salt gets on your car and clothing leaving a nasty film. And while the salt is annoying, you still have to wait until the salter comes and covers your road before you can head to work.
14. No school closings. Ever.
There could be 2 inches of ice or 12 inches of fresh powder, school most likely will not be cancelled. I don’t know whether to be annoyed or proud at our toughness.
15. People who don’t take shoes off when they come to your house.
We pride ourselves on all of our seasons, but with each season brings a different thing tracked in on our boots and shoes. Snow in the winter, grass in the summer, dirt in the fall, mud in the mud season and dog poop in spring. So unless you’re going to mop the floor before you leave, take your shoes off at the door please.
16. Mud season.
Sure it’s messy, annoying and can seem like an insult after a harsh winter, but it’s relatively short and a small price to pay for the rest of the glorious year in Vermont.
17. People who don’t put on snow tires.
We get tired of pulling you out of the ditches over and over again. We’ll still do it, but know it gets old. Just change them already and face the winter independently.