Utah October 24, 2017
11 Unwritten Rules Every Utahn Lives By ‘Til Death
In the Beehive State there are some things we don’t talk about. You know what I mean…those unwritten rules that every Utahn learns from childhood. Your parents may have never explicitly told you these things, but you’ve figured them out along the way.
1. Never drive the speed limit.
Unless you're in the far right lane, you'd better be traveling 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, or you're bound to be crushed by a dude in a huge pickup truck who's late for work.
2. A little snow never hurt anyone.
So it snowed two feet overnight. Suck it up, get out the shovel or plow and get your butt to work and school.
3. In fact, snow is a reason to celebrate.
Now that we think about it, forget that thing we just said about getting your butt to work and school. Call in and hit the slopes, instead.
4. Be prepared.
In the 1970s, everyone purchased huge 50 gallon drums of hard wheat...now Utahns stock up on canned goods and other staples. Someday we'll have that big earthquake, and all those green beans will come in handy.
5. Idaho is vastly inferior to Utah.
Anything Idaho has...Utah has the same thing, only better...which is why Idahoans come to Utah for all the things they can't get in their own state.
6. Choose your team - Utah or BYU.
No, it does not matter in the least if you aren't a Utah or BYU alumnus. Or that you hate football. Sooner or later, there's going to be an office party and you're going to have to wear red or blue and declare yourself on one side or another. You can always get sassy and wear a Utah State hoodie.
7. Pack it in, pack it out.
This is one that some Utahns seem to have forgotten. We've seen a lot of comments lately about people trashing the spots we feature here. Not cool, Utah. Not cool at all.
8. Make peace with Pinterest.
Some Utahns spend hours creating Pinterest-worthy wreaths. Then they post it on social media, and those with absolutely no talent at crafty crafts feel horrible. Make your peace with this now. There's no shame in that wreath from Target. Own it.
9. Never shop on Sunday. Or, ALWAYS shop on Sunday.
The LDS church discourages members to shop on Sunday, so if you're Mormon you spend half your day at church, then go home and have a nap. Everyone else knows the thrill that comes from cruising the aisles of Costco at 10 AM on Sunday...when it's blissfully quiet.
10. Some Utahns like it dirty. Don't judge.
Everyone has at least one friend who must have her Dirty Diet Coke by 9 AM or she gets cranky. Refrain from judgement because this Utah trend seems to be here to stay. Swig's does it best but you can always make your own Dirty Coke...with a splash or two of Jack Daniels instead of coconut syrup. We all have to get through the day together, after all.
11. Politics, religion and fry sauce are topics best avoided at family functions.
Liberal/Conservative, Religious/Heathen, Fry sauce/Ketchup. These topics can start family wars. You're not going to win hearts and change minds, so just talk about something non-divisive. Like maybe how cute everyone's kids are...
What other unwritten rules do you think Utahns follow?