1. Why is there a toddler at this late night, R-rated movie?
We have a lot of kids here in Utah, and I suppose some parents become accustomed to dragging them along wherever they go. You’ll find children at tons of inappropriate places throughout the state. They’re screaming their heads off at fancy restaurants, throwing tantrums during violent action movies and horror flicks, melting down at Walmart stores after 11:00 p.m., and running through the aisles of Home Depot on a busy Saturday afternoon.
2. Why can’t I buy a car on Sunday?
The Utah State Legislature, in its infinite wisdom, deemed that car dealerships should not sell cars on Sunday. The legislation, passed in 2000, was heavily lobbied by Larry H. Miller, who was both Mormon and owned multiple car dealerships. Miller kept his dealerships closed on Sundays, but didn’t much like the fact that his competitors were selling cars while he was at church. So, do your car shopping on Saturday, Utahns.
3. When can I tour that temple?
If you’re talking about an LDS temple, the answer is...you can’t. Unless you want to convert to Mormonism and get a temple recommend, you’ll have to be content to walk around the temple grounds outside. (If you’re inclined to join the church, simply mention this to your neighbor and you’ll immediately be inundated with missionaries and church folk).
4. What is fry sauce?
Fry sauce is made with a mixture of ketchup, mayonnaise and occasionally other ingredients such as pickle juice, pickle relish, or a dash of seasoning salt. When you first taste it, you’ll either be incredibly disgusted, or it will change your life forever.
5. Where can I find the world’s largest Costco?
Right here in Salt Lake City! The Costco located at 1818 S. 300 W., was recently renovated to add 70,000 square feet. The warehouse store now offers a total of 235,000 square feet! If you walk the perimeter of the store, you’ll travel ⅓ mile, burning about 32 calories (which won’t make up for the several hundred calories of store samples you’ll consume).
6. Why is it so foggy along the Wasatch Front?
That’s not fog, it’s pollution. In the winter months, the inversion occurs when a layer of cold air along the valley floor is trapped by a layer of warmer air that’s hemmed in by the mountain ranges. All the particulates from our automobiles are trapped, too. The result? Murky, polluted air that’s not only nasty looking, but downright dangerous. Small children, the elderly and people with asthma and autoimmune diseases get sicker, and the rest of us get crankier when we go for weeks without seeing the sun.
7. Where can I buy liquor?
If you want the hard stuff, you’ll have to find it at the Utah State Liquor Store. Don’t bother stopping by on Sunday, state or federal holidays or late at night (many stores close as early as 7:00 p.m.).
8. Are you a member?
No, your new neighbors aren’t asking if you’ve joined the local country club. They want to know if you’re a member of the LDS church. If you are, you know what to do. If you’re not... they can help you with that.
9. Where are the polygamists?
Some people come to Utah and expect to see polygamists wandering around all over the state. The fact is, we DO have some polys here, but most of them live in their own community in Hilldale.
10. Why do I need a spoon with my milkshake?
Because this is Utah. We don’t serve up thin, runny, melted ice cream in cups. We create thick, creamy shakes that you eat with a spoon. You’re welcome.
11. Will I really float in the Great Salt Lake?
Yes...if you absolutely must. The lake is so salty that pretty much everyone floats. And, it can be quite pretty at times. But in the summer, the brine flies can be so thick along parts of the shore that you can’t breathe. If the brine flies don’t chase you away, the rotten-egg smell might.
12. What is the “Holy War?”
Brigham Young University and the University of Utah have been rivals for years. Before the Utes’ football team joined the PAC-12, the two schools played each other every year. The Holy War was so popular (and probably generated so much revenue) that the schools decided to keep up the tradition. Utahns who don’t even like football often choose a team and dress in their colors on game day.
13. Where’s this steakhouse that everyone keeps talking about?
We hate to disappoint you, but they’re talking about a church building. The slightly larger church buildings in each neighborhood are called stake houses, and you won’t find any ribeyes or New York strips there… just some hymnals, church pews and a bunch of people wearing ties and dresses.
14. What’s the big deal with the snow?
Well, Utah has the best snow in the world. It’s light and fluffy and powdery and simply divine. If you’re not a skier or boarder yet, you should definitely give it a try. Besides, you’re going to have to shovel the stuff, so you may as well learn to love it.
15. What’s the best way to drive in the snow?
Slowly, carefully and with snow tires (and sometimes chains). If you’re here from California, Texas or the deep South, the best way to drive in the snow is to stay home and not drive at all.
16. Why did you say 4th South when you really meant 400 South?
Our grid-system is super easy to navigate, but we try to make it harder by replacing the last two zeros with a “th” or “rd.” So, 4th South is 400 South, 12300 South is 123rd. The first few times you get directions in Utah, ask for clarification, or you’ll end up driving ten miles out of your way, only to find that you’re in the wrong place.