15 Life Lessons Everyone Learns Growing Up in Utah

When you’re water skiing on one of Utah’s lakes, and you fall forward…let go of the rope! Otherwise, your family members are laughing their butts off and calling you "Bob."

You’ll never forget that first Sunday when you’re just dying for a Crown Burger, and you realize they’re closed.

Your first ski trip is with your high school buddies, and they convince you that you totally CAN ski that black diamond run. As you crash, head-over-heels, goggles ripped from your face, snow and ice jamming into your nose and mouth, you feel your ACL snap and realize this was a life lesson you didn’t want to learn the hard way.

This life lesson is usually learned when you’re the driver BEHIND the guy without the blinker. When he suddenly slams on his brakes to make that right turn, you’d better hope you weren't driving your dad's truck.

Ah...that first snowfall after you get your license. Doing donuts in the parking lot of the LDS church is so fun! Doing donuts on the I-15 off-ramp...not so fun.

That molded, green jello has such an allure. Especially when you can see that there are marshmallows or other tasty-looking bits inside! As a Utah kid, you learn quickly that adults try to hide yucky stuff in there, too. Like carrot shavings. Such a disappointment.

Ever since you saw A Christmas Story, you were dying to try it. Turns out, it does work.

The posted speed limit isn’t the speed you drive in the left lane on Utah’s Interstates. Because if you do, you’ll be killed. You learn this one the first time you get on the freeway with your Learner’s permit. Get over to the right, with the grandmas and the semi-trucks.

The first year you play soccer you find out that Utah doesn't have spring or fall weather. You spend September panting and dehydrated from the heat. In the spring, you play in blizzards, bitter cold and biting wind. Try basketball — it’s climate-controlled.

The games on Lagoon’s midway look so easy, and that huge stuffed bear is so attractive you just MUST have it! Only after your dad has blown $75 and you finally get that bear do you realize that it’s far too heavy to carry around the park, and that now you can’t go on any rides. The next morning, you see that both plastic eyes have come loose and that a seam has popped, spilling funny-smelling stuffing out all over your bedroom carpet. Bummer.

Utah is a pretty big state. So when you live in Cedar City and you drive to Logan to visit Aunt Michelle, it’s going to take a while. Like, FOREVER in kid hours. When your parents start telling you, somewhere around Provo, that you’re, "Almost there," they are LYING TO YOU.

Your mom tried to warn you, but it just looked SO GOOD! Who did you think you were kidding? Now you have a huge stomach ache and the front of your favorite shirt is covered with chocolate sauce. This is one of those life lessons that you never really learn, especially when the Leatherby’s is nearby.

The first time you went fishing with Grandpa, you caught six fish. And one of them was as big as your head! And all the adults fussed over you and Grandma took a picture of you holding the fish, looking proud and adorable and posted it all over Facebook. The second time you went, you sat in the blistering sun in the canoe, line in the water, holding very still and not talking at all - for hours and hours and hours. Until you had to pee and started whining and Grandpa got disgusted with you for not being a good fisherman and took you home, humiliated and fishless.

Your mom wasn’t kidding when she said to come back over and get more sunscreen. Now you’re about to learn another life lesson: the healing properties of aloe.