Texas March 25, 2018
10 Things You Only Have The Right To Say If You’re From Texas
When other states hate on us, we get outraged – and rightfully so. Why should they be allowed to comment on a place they know nothing about? We Texans, on the other hand, can take little digs at our practices and ways of life as often as we want because we’re just as guilty as everyone else who lives here. The following 10 statements are things you only have the right to say if you’re from Texas.
1. Our portion sizes are a little ridiculous sometimes.
It's just plain rude when out-of-staters make negative comments about our 5-pound cinnamon rolls and 72-oz. steaks, but it's totally fine when we get up from the table and complain about being too stuffed to walk to the car.
2. Homecoming mums DO look a bit strange.
It's a Texas tradition, therefore we're the only ones allowed to make fun of it - and trust us, we do. Just not in front of our daughters.
3. It would be nice to measure distance in miles rather than hours every once in a while.
Don't get us wrong, we love how wide open our state is and all the different landscapes that can be found within its borders given its sheer size. That still doesn't make a 900-mile road trip any more bearable, however.
4. We can be pretty arrogant sometimes.
We'll lose our cool if someone from another state calls us out on it, but we'll admit it among ourselves. After all, we ARE the best country in the United States!
5. Why doesn't anybody know how to drive around here?
When people from other states say this, we'll assume they're talking about us in particular. When we say it, we're talking about everyone except for ourselves.
6. It would be nice to experience a real winter every now and then.
Other states can't say this because they just can't relate. Until you have to resort to hay bale snowmen, don't complain about a lack of winter.
7. It's just way too hot.
You don't even KNOW what hot is if you aren't from Texas. Until you have burn marks on your skin from the seat belt buckle, don't talk to us.
8. We have the best grocery stores in the country.
Don't fight us on this. H-E-B is the best, and that's a fact. What other grocery store sends fleets of disaster relief trucks during major hurricanes? Yeah, that's what we thought.
9. Don't mess with Texas.
When we hear, "Don't mess with [insert state name here that isn't Texas]" all we can do is laugh. This is OUR slogan, and we appreciate you thinking we're so cool that you want to copy it, but please leave it to us.
10. Everything is bigger here.
We're the only state that can say this because it only applies to us. Does your state have table-sized pizza or 5-pound cinnamon rolls? Nope. It doesn't.
For more Texas humor, check out our previous article:
13 Ways Texas Is America’s Black Sheep…And We Love It That Way
What else do you only have the right to say if you’re from Texas? Let us know!