Posted in Texas December 14, 2016 by

15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Texas

As much as we love the great state of Texas, even those of us who have lived here our entire lives can admit it has some shortcomings. I mean, the food is so delicious that being overweight is basically inevitable, the sheer amount of beautiful natural wonders is overwhelming, and we’re all trapped here because every other state sucks. Texas is just awful, right y’all? Here are 15 reasons why you should avoid moving to Texas at all costs.

We’re aware that these uncertain times are limiting many aspects of life. While we continue to feature destinations that make our state wonderful, please take proper precautions or add them to your bucket list to see at a later date. If you know of a local business that could use some extra support during these times, please nominate them here: onlyinyourstate.com/nominate
1. In the winter, getting dressed in the morning will be a struggle.
memecenter.com
Parka and boots or a tank top and shorts? Only Mother Nature knows.
2. And in the summer, it gets a little bit humid.
Flickr/petsadviser-pix
Don't bother getting your hair done if you plan on leaving the house.
3. You'll stick out like a sore thumb.
Flickr/D.Fajio
No matter how good of an actor you think you are, us Native Texans can smell a transplant a mile away. Especially if you let "you guys" slip out accidentally.
4. The urge to eat everything in sight will be too hard to resist.
Flickr/wallyg
Barbecue, Whataburger, fried EVERYTHING...you can kiss your diet goodbye.
5. A trip to the grocery store sometimes turns into a two-hour ordeal.
Flickr/akabilk
Highway or parking lot? You decide.
6. The metal part of the seat belt turns into a weapon during the summer.
Flickr/bengoodger
Handle with extreme caution.
7. You might have to wait behind a horse or two in the drive-thru.
Flickr/abqtrucker
Yes, this really did happen.
8. You might get listeria from Blue Bell because you won't stop eating it during a recall.
Flickr/Randy OHC
Our self control does not extend to Blue Bell.
9. You'll get too full from chips and salsa to even think about touching your meal.
Flickr/shecodes
Have y'all noticed yet that most of these reasons involve food?
10. Touching your steering wheel is as good as putting your hand on the stove in the summer.
Flickr/waldopepper
Better get some gloves! Or just use oven mitts - they get the job done too (not speaking from personal experience or anything).
11. There are SO MANY THINGS TO DO that you won't know where to start.
Flickr/darrellrhodesmiller
Hundreds of state parks, about a million restaurants...it's all so overwhelming!
12. Get ready to drive for days if you're road tripping across the state.
Flickr/cogdog
Texas is almost 900 miles across...yeah.
13. And those already agonizingly long trips will get even longer because you HAVE to stop at Buc-ee's.
Flickr/adgiant
It's not an option. I mean, come on...BEAVER NUGGETS.
14. You'll wonder what swallowed all the teenage girls when homecoming rolls around.
Flickr/henry_huey
I'm not entirely sure who came up with this trend or why they thought it would be aesthetically pleasing, but it's Texas tradition so I accept it.
15. You'll be eternally stuck here after realizing how much every other state sucks.
memegenerator.net
Texas forever, y'all.

Can you relate to these reasons? Why else should people stop moving to Texas?