Even though Texas is the friendship state, we probably won’t be so friendly if you utter these words in a conversation with us. So, if you’re looking to come visit this summer or encounter someone from Texas where you live, just avoid these questions and statements altogether – trust me, it will make your life a hell of a lot easier.
1) "So, where's your horse?"
Just don't ask us about our horse, please. Chances are, we don't have one. And if we do, no we don't ride them everywhere we go. We don't live in the 1800s anymore, so most of us actually own vehicles that we use for transportation.
2) "I thought Texas was just a giant flat cornfield."
*Sigh* Let me break it down for you..
..here are the mountains of West Texas..
..the beautiful (sometimes) blue waters at South Padre Island...
..the Palo Duro Canyon in the Panhandle...
...and yes, we have hills too.
We actually have some of the most varied terrain in the country, and have eight different ecological regions. So yes, you'll find more than cornfields and prairielands here - don't get it twisted.
3) "Texans are just a bunch of uneducated, illiterate rednecks/hillbillies."
Well actually, we are home to some of the top universities in the country, such as Texas A&M, University of Texas, Baylor, and Rice University. And yes, most of us actually know how to read and write, because we went to something called "school" as children.
4) "So, where's your ranch/farm located?
Okay, most of us don't own a farm. Most of us don't raise cattle. Most of us live in suburban neighborhoods in moderate to large cities. We'll probably just walk away if you ask this question, just warning you.
5) "Wow, you actually don't drive a truck?!"
A lot of us drive trucks, but many of us don't. We drive these things called cars, also.
6) "Don't you burn up there in the summer?"
Yes, it's hot as hell here in the summer, but we're used to it here. We'll take the heat over ten feet of snow any day.
7) "I thought everyone in Texas wore a cowboy hat."
We'll probably just stare at you blankly if you say this in our presence.
8) "Why does the whole state shut down when it snows?"
Because, unlike up north where the snow is all fluffy and stays on the ground for days, ours melts within hours and turns into ice. And, we like to live so we choose not to drive on the roads in those conditions.
9) "Do you ever put ketchup on your barbecue?"
No, we would never dream of doing that here, and if you do, we will be appalled and greatly offended.
10) "Football sucks."
Football is a religion here, so if you dislike the sport, I'd keep my opinions to myself if I were you.
11) "I've had better BBQ in [insert state here]."
Yeah, highly doubt it. Anyway, any meat-loving Texan will defend their BBQ til the cows come home, so don't bother arguing.
12) "Texans are so unhealthy, eating all that fried food and BBQ all the time."
Our diets don't just consist of deep-fried foods; we actually enjoy the taste of fresh fruits and veggies, too. Don't judge our eating habits, and we won't judge yours.
13) "Texas isn't really that big."
Wanna bet? Depending where you are, you can drive for 12 hours straight and still be in Texas. It's HUGE, and Texans know it. Don't try to tell us it isn't - we've driven the roads before and know first hand just how massive our state is.
14) "Texas is nothing more than a bunch of country bumpkins."
Oh, really? Go to one of the big cities like Houston, Austin, Dallas, or San Antonio, and then see if you still have the same opinion.
15) "Wow, you actually listen to other stuff besides country music!"
Yeah, with almost 30 million people living here, we have a wide variety of musical tastes...imagine that!
Alright y’all, there’s your crash course on what not to say to a Texan – ever. What else would you add to the list?
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