Austin November 19, 2017
11 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Austin Cringe
Austinites are usually easygoing, but certain things will definitely make our skin crawl. Some things, though they may sound totally fine to the rest of the country, will ring like nails on a chalkboard to us. These are 11 foolproof ways to make someone from Austin cringe.
1. Ordering a Perrier instead of Topo Chico
In Austin, you always go for the Topo.
2. Doing the "slow slow quick" when you two-step
At The Broken Spoke dancehall, there's nothing worse than having a dance partner that just can't get the pattern right. Remember: it's "quick quick slow!"
3. Constantly comment on how weird Austin is.
No, Sixth Street isn't weird. You haven't seen weird until you've been to Hippie Hollow or Eeyore's Birthday Party.
4. Ordering a steak well done.
It's even worse if they smother it in cheap steak sauce.
5. Complaining about the heat when it's only 90 degrees
Honey, if you think this is hot, wait until August!
6. Littering at Zilker Park and the Barton Creek Greenbelt
Don't mess with Austin, Texas y'all!
7. Asking for a breakfast burrito
In Austin, breakfast tacos reign supreme. You'll be hard pressed to find any early morning burritos in this city.
8. Calling this "BBQ"
Let's get this straight: this is grilling. Barbecue involves slow roasting meats over a low flame for several hours until you produce something that is so unbelievably tender and addictive that you're not sure how you could eat anything else.
9. Calling locals "Austonions"
Nails scraping against a chalkboard sounds like music in comparison to the word "Austonian." It's "Austinite," forever and always.
10. Referring to queso as "cheese dip."
Fair warning: if you try to order "cheese dip" at a Tex Mex restaurant, you might be laughed out of the building.
11. Talking trash about Willie Nelson or Stevie Ray Vaughan
Those two are our patron saints of live music! Talking trash about them is borderline blasphemy.
What are some things that always make you cringe?