I think Arizona is awesome, hands down, end of story. Maybe it’s because I think this land is a diamond in the rough, maybe it’s because I’ve never lived anywhere else, or maybe it’s because I hate myself. Who knows?
But I can say that I hesitate to make that kind if statement out loud though because it seems to invite all the weirdos out of the woodwork. You know them, the ones living in a land of ice and snow, currently enduring a -11 degree wind chill. They hear stories of a mystical land where the sun always shines, where people are always smiling, where the living is easy, and suddenly they just need to move there.
If that’s you (or maybe a loved one or even a mortal enemy), then STOP! You should really think this over because I don’t think you quite understand what you’re getting yourself into. I’ve composed a very helpful list of reasons why you should probably consider moving to another state (like California because who doesn’t want to live there?). So, seriously: read this list (twice, perhaps) and decide if you really want to live here.
1. There is literally nothing growing here.
Okay, maybe there’s a few cacti, bushes, and the occasional wildflower growing from the dirt but I don’t even know how I survive.
2. We don’t have any roads. Just dirt.
Yup, that’s it. I hope you have your wagon ready.
3. Everything here will kill you.
Wild animals, scorpions, gila monsters, some of the people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
4. We also don’t have water.
And what we do have, your neighbor will waste trying to grow a green grassy lawn to remind them of Minnesota or some other greener place.
5. Remember how I said the sun is always shining? Skin cancer.
And if not that, then you’ll definitely see wrinkles at a much earlier age than you hope.
6. Your skin will dry out from how dry it is here.
Hello, lizard skin.
7. The heat here is awful and you just might die.
112 degrees is probably the average summer high and there are days where your thermometer will probably break. See? Death is imminent.
8. Walking down the street on a hot summer’s day means your feet will burn because that heat rises right up through your shoes.
Sometimes the asphalt gets squishy which is super fun.
9. The landscape here is boring.
Nothing to see here, move along.
10. There are a few mountains but nothing to write home about.
Another mountain? Yawn. I don’t know how those trees survive though because it’s super hot here.
11. If you think moving here will help you escape the snow, you’re only kind of right.
That awful snow is a common sight in roughly half the state, plus you’ll even find it in our deserts from time to time.
12. We do have lots of uranium mines.
Mmm, who doesn’t love uranium ore dust floating into their morning coffee?
13. It’s still the Wild West out here.
Shoot out in the town square at noon? Yup, it’s in my daily calendar.
14. There is nothing to see or do here.
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Goodbye, night life!
15. There’s no history or culture here.
Nothing. There, like, weren’t even people here just a couple hundred years ago.
16. You’ll find that you’ll never leave once you get here.
Maybe you’ll succumb to the elements, maybe you’ll manage to eke out a living here, maybe you’ll find some comfort in living in a tough land. Who knows? Either way, you won’t be leaving.
Okay, maybe we were just a little harsh but the best criticism always seems to come from the people who love you, right? If you want to read a more positive spin on this topic, check out our article 12 Reasons Living In Arizona Is The Best—And Everyone Should Move Here.
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