Posted in Pittsburgh
January 23, 2017
The 8 Best Places To Hide In Pittsburgh In The Event Of A Zombie Apocalypse
Quick! Where do you plan to hide in Pittsburgh in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Not sure yet? Well, there’s really no better time than the present to start planning for your survival. The first, and most crucial, step is to determine just to where you will flee. Come along on a cheeky adventure of places you might want to hide in Pittsburgh should the zombies arrive.
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Whether zombies can swim remains up for debate and you're really not going to find out the answer until, well, they arrive in the Burgh. Assuming that they either can't swim or somehow have difficulty when submerged in water, you'll have several pretty sturdy spots to hide in Pittsburgh. Brunot Island, for example, spans 129 acres and houses a power plant. You'll have to access the island by boat but, if zombies indeed swim, you'll have more chances of escape than if you're stuck in a building.
Allegheny Islands State Park comes in second only to Brunot Island because it's a bit smaller at nearly 50 acres. You can only access the island by boat so if the zombies can't deal with the water, you're safe. If not, you have plenty of spots from which to escape.
Fort Ligonier just might be the perfect spot to hide away from zombies - if you can make it there in time. Hide in the recreated fort, complete with artillery that might just save you should the zombies discover your hiding spot.
Along the 13 miles of abandoned Pennsylvania Turnpike lie three tunnels - the Laurel Hill Tunnel, The Sideling Hill Tunnel, and Ray's Hill Tunnel. Head to either the Sideling Hill Tunnel or Ray's Hill Tunnel (Laurel Hill Tunnel is in use as a race car testing facility) in case of a zombie invasion. Few people know about the tunnels that sit on an abandoned stretch of land and you should be just fine if you remain quiet if the zombies do find the tunnel.
So, there's good and bad about hiding in the U.S. Steel Tower. Sure, at 841 feet with 64 floors, it's the tallest building in Pittsburgh. That means you'll have the perfect vantage point from the top for keeping track of the zombies and assessing where they may head next. Unfortunately, you have nowhere to go from the top of the building if the zombies reach floor 64.
Who remembers Century III Mall in its heyday? Fighting for a parking spot then streaming into the mall with hoards of other shoppers? Racing others to a table in the food court when someone made the move to leave? Well, with the exception of its few shops, Century III has become, well, a virtual ghost town. That could make it a pretty good hiding spot from the zombies who aren't going to prowl in sparsely populated areas.
Pittsburgh may not have as extensive of an underground - or subway - system as London or New York City, but you'll have nearly 26 miles to hide from and outwit the zombies.
Do NOT go to Monroeville Mall if you're trying to run from the zombies. They infiltrated in 1978 and return every year for an annual Zombie Fest. Still, if you're desperate, you might want to consider that old adage. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
So…this certainly isn’t a definitive list of where to hide in Pittsburgh in case of a zombie attack. For part two, where would you suggest Pittsburghers head should the zombies arrive? Now that you are fully prepared for a zombie apocalypse, start ticking off items from the ultimate bucket list for every Pittsburgher.
