Pennsylvania October 09, 2015
7 Most Likely Ways Pennsylvania Will Be Wiped Off The Map
Pennsylvania is the place we call our home, but it (probably) won’t be around forever and ever and ever… Just like dinosaurs, the golden age of Disco, and that tub of Ben & Jerry’s, all good things must come to an end sooner or later. We did some thinking to figure out what events might lead to Pennsylvania’s demise… Most of them are kind of silly, but hey! You never know. Stranger things have happened.
1. The Pittsburgh vs Philadelphia sports rivalry becomes too heated.
Flyers vs. Penguins... Eagles vs. Steelers... Phillies vs. Bucs... It seems that everyone in our state has a steadfast, bloodthirsty allegiance to sports teams from either Pittsburgh or Philadelphia. What if one day all sports fans just can't take this tension anymore and our state falls into a chaotic state of sports induced civil unrest?
2. Political tensions get too high.
We have not only cultural divisions between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, but heavy political divisions as well. Most people would describe the political landscape of PA like a T; democratic in the major metro areas on either side of the state, and more conservative in the middle of the state and the northern part. Being a swing state, politics can cause a lot of heated arguments. I want YOU for my political party!
3. Nuclear disaster strikes.
Pennsylvania has already experienced the worst nuclear disaster in the history of the country at Three Mile Island in 1979 when a power plant in Dauphin County released radioactive gases into the environment. With five nuclear power plants in our state, the chances of another accident don't seem that far out.
4. A giant blizzard blankets us all in snow.
The above sketch was made to depict the Great Blizzard of 1888, which left 50-foot snowdrifts in certain areas. Even though none of us have had to brave a 50 foot snowdrift in PA during our lifetimes, we all have had that feeling depicted above... When the icy wind and sleet makes you feel like you're about to tumble away. A cataclysmic blizzard could be the very thing that does us in.
5. The ground catches on fire throughout the entire state.
It's already happened in
-- the coal town that is now (almost completely) abandoned due to the mine fire that's been burning underground since 1981. There are many mines in PA... If by some amazing chance, they all caught on fire just like Centralia, well... The ground would be lava.
6. The deer band together and take over the state.
You might think that the deer running in front of your car at night are just being dumb deer, but really it's all part of their master plan... They're testing your reflexes. Stay strong, humans! We won't let the deer take us down.
7. We'll be the first to fall during a zombie apocalypse.
Researches have found that in the event of a zombie apocalypse,
Scranton would be one of the worst places
in the entire country to be. Its proximity to larger cities, such as New York, Philadelphia, and Boston, would render it the point at which the zombies would first converge. If the dead rise, Pennsylvania would be the first state in the country to be wiped off the map!
What would you add to this list? Did any of these surprise you? Share your thoughts below.