Portland January 17, 2018
9 Foolproof Ways To Spot An Imposter In Portland
Portland is a lovely place to call home, and it is no surprise that people continue to come here and start a life of their own. However, we are a little different from the rest of the country, and it is pretty easy to tell lifelong residents from newbies. Here are a few easy ways to spot a recent transplant to the City of Roses.
1. They Try To Pump Their Own Gas
Rarely do you see a Portlander exit their car at the gas station. We just like to wait patiently until we are served.
2. They Call The Coast The "Beach"
The coast is made up of rugged topography with beaches dotted here and there, but we always call it the coast. Beach implies that we will be able to swim, and even in the summer it is just too cold to even consider unless you are a child or have a wetsuit.
3. They View Rain As A Deterrent
True Portlanders put on a rain jacket and go about their day. Whether hiking, playing sports, or simply shopping, we go about rain like it doesn't even exist.
4. Their Recycling Skills Leave Something to Be Desired
Recycling is taught from a young age here, and if your garbage looks like this, you probably are from somewhere else.
5. They Drive Like They Are Late For Something
We have infamously slow and polite drivers who often wave each other on at 4-way stops instead of the usual right-of-way designation. If you don't drive under the speed limit, you are not from Portland.
6. They Carry An Umbrella All Winter Long
We can't be bothered with umbrellas. Portlanders wear rain jackets or just get soaked, but we know umbrellas are a lost cause.
7. They Are Surprised We Have Sunny Days Here
Everyone thinks the Northwest is nothing but rain. If you are surprised the sun is out every time it makes an appearance, you definitely must be from somewhere else.
8. They Frequent Voodoo Donuts
It's not to say that locals never eat Voodoo, but who has time to wait in lines like that? Tourists. We go to any of the other donut shops around town (or the Eastside Voodoo) and step right up and get our donuts.
9. They Are Indifferent When Asked To Choose Between The Beavers and Ducks
From elementary school, Portlanders are asked to pick an allegiance as the Civil War approaches, and if you just don't care either way, you are not a Portlander for sure.
What do you think? Do you have any more signs that someone is an imposter? Let us know in the comments below.