Portland June 19, 2017
10 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Portland Cringe
We are a welcoming group of people in Portland. We love our local sports teams, will defend the natural beauty of our city to a fault, and really like to be nice. However, if you want to see a Portlander cringe, these are things that will bring it out.
1. Throw Recyclables Away
We should all be on board with recycling and composting at this point. It has been years since sweeping changes left us with bi-weekly garbage pickup and weekly compost and recycling pickup, but even still, the signs can be confusing. But blatantly throw out recyclables and you may witness heads shaking in admonition.
2. Swim in Willamette
The Willamette is cleaner than it was a decade ago, but tell any Portlander you are going for a swim and you may not get the reaction you had planned.
3. Mention Portlandia
No, not the statue, but the show of the same name. This parody of our city has gotten kind of old and we just want to go back to the old days.
4. Mispronounce Couch
In Portland, Couch Street is not pronounced like the thing you sit on. Instead it is "kooch."
5. Serve Sub-Par Coffee
We love our coffee, and love to drink good coffee. It is the most important drink of the morning.
6. Going Out For Sub-Par Food
We also really like our food. Don't say let's go out, and then hit a fast food joint for your meal unless you want to see a Portlander cringe.
7. Hearing Someone Admit Their Distaste For The Outdoors
We love our nature in the Northwest and spend plenty of time outdoors.
8. Skipping Beer
We have so much great beer, and we love to support our craft breweries.
9. Bad Biking & Driving
We all know the rules of the road for biking and driving and try to get along as symbiotically as possible.
10. Not Recognizing The Beauty Around Us
We have to admit, we live in a beautiful place. Are we are so lucky.
What other ways can you make a Portlander cringe? Let us know in the comments below.