Ohio November 19, 2015
14 Things You’ve Grown To Undeniably Hate If You’re From Ohio
Ohio isn’t perfect—and neither are you. Thankfully, in spite of the things we grow to hate dealing with here in Ohio, we (usually) have the sense of humor needed to get through it all. From questions we simply don’t want to answer anymore to nearly un-drivable street conditions, there are just some things you inevitably grow to hate after living in Ohio for a few years.
We're born into it. There is no other explanation.
2. When people from out of state ask you: “You seriously don’t think you have an accent?”
(...No. We seriously don't know what you're talking about.)
3. The “weather” (if that’s even the appropriate term for it anymore.)
Four designated seasons are a whimsical, “Alice in Wonderland” type of concept we’d like to think we know about. In reality, we know that any one of them can occur at any given moment because Mother Nature knows no boundaries in Ohio.
4. The joke of a concept known as “street construction.”
Oh, your route to work is STILL closed due to the construction that was supposed to be done in June of 2011? I mean, I’d be surprised if it WASN’T closed anymore. (The completion of construction is yet another mythical concept we’d all like to think could actually become a reality…)
5. When people can’t drive in the snow.
(Please leave the roads clear for those of us who know what we're doing.)
6. Those gaping, demonic and strategically placed potholes Gandalf the Gray is STILL falling down...
...I get so enraged just thinking about them that I can't even elaborate on this one.
7. When people from out of state ask you if you grew up on a farm...
(No. Turns out we have cities and suburbs here too.)
8. …or what cow tipping is like.
(I don’t know. None of us know. We don’t know because we don’t do that here.)
9. Pulling out onto the road behind an Amish buggy...
...because you know you'll be there awhile.
10. People who freak out when you use the term “pop” instead of “soda.”
YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN STOP ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALIENS.
11. Not being able to dodge a deer in the road fast enough.
Here in Ohio, you can expect a deer to charge at your car—or stay standing directly in front of it—while driving down just about any type of road. (Interstates are no exception.) What you can’t always expect is that you will avoid them, but in time you learn to always be on guard. Always.
12. When people give you directions to somewhere in miles instead of time increments.
“It’s an hour outside of Cleveland” are the sort of directions we prefer.
13. When people from out of state say Ohio is boring.
^ ^ ^
14. When people from out of state make fun of Ohio.
Only people from Ohio are allowed to make fun of Ohio—period.
What things have you grown the undeniably hate from living in Ohio? Do any of these resonate with you? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!