Posted in Ohio
May 03, 2015
13 Things To Never Say To An Ohioan—And The Responses You’ll Get
There are some things you just don’t say on Ohio ground. Take the following as simple advice on what not to say to us when you’re on our turf—or simply anytime you engage in conversation with us, regardless of where we are.
We’ll stop talking to you. We will straight up stop talking to you.
No. No we probably won’t—and you saying that will probably just inspire us to talk about them even more.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN STOP ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALIENS.
I don’t know. None of us know. We don’t know because we don’t do that here.
Oh please. Step aside and watch how it’s done.
UH, you try living where designated seasons aren’t real and you sometimes use the AC and heat in the same day and you feel like you’re in a constant state of weather-induced confusion. You try that. You try that and THEN get back to us on that one.
Why is the sky blue?
We will legitimately pretend we didn’t hear you bring up his name and ask you an absurd question or say something completely nonsensical to incite intense confusion in the hopes of permanently diverting you from the topic.
YOU’RE boring. Step outside the house for a change when you’re here and you might think twice before you say that.
You only think that because you’ve been eating inside the lines for way too long.
A VACUUM CLEANER. FOR THE LAST TIME, A VACUUM CLEANER.
1) Stop saying that. 2) That’s physically impossible. We have roads and stores and various other establishments that require land free of corn.
FALSE.
What else do you think shouldn’t be said to an Ohioan?
OnlyInYourState may earn compensation through affiliate links in this article.
