Ohio November 14, 2017
11 Foolproof Ways To Spot An Imposter In Ohio
Every Ohioan is different, it’s true. We don’t all agree on how we feel about Skyline Chili and a handful of us don’t bleed scarlet and gray—but that doesn’t mean we don’t respect the unspoken rules that coming with being an Ohioan. Consequently, there are a few easy ways to tell if someone isn’t a true Ohioan and possibly posing as one to blend in for the sake of acceptance.
Here are 11 foolproof ways to tell if someone is an “Ohio imposter”:
1. They're wearing a putrid shade of gold and blue.
Here in the Buckeye State, you're just asking for us to hate you if you own even one item of Michigan apparel. It's just not right. And it's a dead giveaway that you're supporting the enemy we've all silently agreed to hate together.
2. They flock to Cedar Point and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame the second they arrive.
All true Ohioans know there's so much more to the state than these world renowned attractions. And we visit them sparingly—and not during peak tourist season because we know better.
3. They can't name The Three C's.
Even for outsiders, this shouldn't be that hard. Out-of-staters likely know our Columbus, Cincinnati and Cleveland pride runs deep. So if this one applies, you can most certainly determine they're an imposter merely pretending to know what state they're currently in.
4. Spotting deer on the road startles them.
Here in Ohio, you can expect a deer to charge at your car—or stay standing directly in front of it—while driving down just about any type of road. (Interstates are no exception.) Ohioans are no longer startled by this. You stop and/or swerve when you need to and simply carry on.
5. They've never heard of Graeter's Ice Cream.
This one is quite sadly, really. And any upstanding Ohioan will immediately take them to the nearest location to experience the greatness.
6. They prefer oceans to freshwater lakes.
Lake Erie serves as our own special sort of ocean here in Ohio. And by now, we've realized that unsalted water is actually kind of amazing when it comes to swimming, boating and other water activities. (Anyone who disagrees hasn't spent enough time in a Great Lake to know better. )
7. They're shocked to learn that Ohio has islands.
Again, this one is a little sad. It only proves how sheltered their world view must be.
8. They can't name all the Ohio presidents.
This is probably the trickiest one on our list as there are a handful of Ohioans who can't even do this. So even if this one applies, you might want to cut them some slack and test them with the rest of the list. Just to be safe.
9. Whenever you mention Oxford or Athens they're suddenly impressed because they assume you've traveled internationally.
I guess we can't all be geography experts. But this one is extra helpful when you're on the fence about whether someone is posing as Ohioan or not. Save it for last.
10. They've never heard of combining spaghetti with chili.
A true Ohioan will not only be familiar with this concept, but they'll likely have strong feelings about it one way or the other. We're divided when it comes to how appetizing this dish actually is, so if you get a blank stare or a confused look, it's a dead giveaway you're speaking with an imposter.
11. They don't dip their French fries in their frosty.
Have a heart and don't let them miss out even for another minute. Show them how it's done, Ohioan.
While we welcome visitors with open arms here in the Buckeye State, it’s pretty fun and amusing to spot the imposters trying to fit in. How else can you tell if someone is an “Ohio imposter”? Share your thoughts with us!
And for more surefire signs of a home-grown Ohioan, check out our previous article:
14 Legitimate Signs That You Grew Up In Ohio.