Cleveland August 05, 2018
9 Things Everyone In Cleveland Should Avoid At All Costs
Life in Cleveland is truly fantastic… until it’s awfully inconvenient. There are pros and cons to calling this wild place home, but most locals find that the pros vastly outweigh the cons. However, with our particular brand of humor, one can’t help but have a chuckle as we poke fun at local life. How many of these things do you always try to avoid?
Every Clevelander has a single moment burned into their mind's eye, and if you call this region home then you know where I am going with this. We all had a first encounter with a pothole that could literally swallow our vehicle, and after that, there is no recovering from such trauma. This particular pothole almost seems to be mocking us by forming in the shape of Ohio.
2. The winter months.
Two words: lake effect. They're a dreaded combination of vowels and consonants that spell disaster for local traffic. Kids, however, may adore these words and even superstitiously flush an ice cube down the toilet in the hopes of appeasing Lake Erie's unusual weather patterns into granting them a snow day.
3. Any major Greater Cleveland city on St. Patrick's Day.
Traffic becomes nutty, sidewalks fill with (rather tipsy) pedestrians, and lines at your favorite neighborhood haunts suddenly seem endless. On St. Patrick's Day and similar celebratory holidays, road trips through the city and more populated suburbs should be avoided.
4. Driving during rush hour.
Looks pretty now, right? Just wait. As locals are released from the chains of their day jobs, they take to the streets with a vengeance. Highways back up as locals seemingly forget how to drive, and city streets become a chore to traverse.
5. The West Side Market when you have a budget.
This charming marketplace is too hard to visit with a tight budget. There is simply so much to see that you will find more and more delectable goodies that will make your mouth water.
6. The suburbs during a full moon.
Have you ever heard locals discuss how cranky people get as we approach full moons? The normally friendly suburbs become a cranky mishmash of hurt egos as declarations of "it must be a full moon" pop up. Whether or not the moon is truly responsible is for you to decide.
7. East 4th Street following a big concert.
East 4th is the one place in Cleveland where cars are forbidden, and locals love to lounge around and explore the cozy confines of this street. However, when the House of Blues releases its crowds following a lively performance, this tiny district becomes packed to the brim.
8. FirstEnergy Stadium (unless there is a tornado warning).
Jokesters say to visit this destination during tornado warnings, as there is no chance of a touchdown here. However, during football season, faithful fans surround the stadium in droves, endowing claustrophobic locals with a sense of unease.
9. Anywhere with road construction.
Locals know that winter has officially ended when they see the state flower (orange construction cones and barrels) popping up like daisies. Traveling becomes hectic and confusing whenever construction is thrown into the mix, and many locals really aren't sure how to deal with the horrors of navigating construction zones.
With our sense of humor, we can’t help but poke fun at our beloved hometown; however, we love our home through thick and thin, and we truly can’t help but gush about how fantastic it is. Are there other things you try to avoid in our home city? Let us know in the comments!
Can’t get enough of those Cleveland feels? Check out this
list of reasons to be proud of Cleveland.