New Jersey September 29, 2017
10 Unwritten Rules Every New Jerseyan Lives By ‘Til Death
There’s no official rulebook for living in the sometimes gritty, but mostly gorgeous, Garden State. We’re tough here, we’re fighters, survivors, urban warriors… battling traffic to the shore, exorbitant property taxes and the consistent misrepresentations of our state. Why so much hate? Anyway, there are certain rules we live by, to navigate life in New Jersey.
1. It's either Pork Roll or Taylor Ham. Never both.
And we must argue about it endlessly. Because it's about truth, accuracy, and all that's right (or wrong) with the world.
2. Speed limits are just guidelines.
We really should obey the speed limit... but isn't it called Route 80 for a reason?
3. But E-ZPass is essential.
When you're traveling down the turnpike or parked on the Parkway, E-ZPass helps. Waiting for those coin and cash carriers can take forever.
4. It's not really summer unless it's spent at the shore.
At least some of the summer should be spent on the shore. Whether it's swimming, surfing, sunbathing, shopping, or strolling the streets of Cape May, a trip to the beach is essential. We love our boardwalks, bustling beach towns, sleepy shore towns, and thriving waterfront dining scene.
5. Laugh it off.
Out-of-staters like to crack jokes at our expense. We don't let it get to us... unless they say "Joisey." Then, fuggedaboutit.
6. Don't order pizza out-of-state...
Unless you want to be disappointed. Jersey pizza is the best pizza. In fact, I'm going to need a slice after writing this. Yum!
7. Don't go hiking alone in the Pine Barrens at night.
Sure, there are always dangers when hiking alone, but there's an added risk in the Pine Barrens — running into the Jersey Devil.
8. Food tastes better after midnight.
This isn't really a rule so much as it's a fact. That's why we've got so many 24-hour diners. Disco fries, please!
9. Gas stations aren't just for gas.
Especially if we're at WaWa or QuickChek. Grab snacks, coffee, and definitely some grub. Whether you're looking for budget-friendly beverages or sizable sandwiches, both stations have you covered. Best of all, you don't even need to touch the pump. (And, don't be alarmed at the prices, this photo is a decade old.)
10. Park your car in the garage on October 30th.
If you have a garage, at least. Otherwise, you may need to deal with silly string and toilet paper (but hopefully not eggs). Whether you call it Mischief Night, Cabbage Night or Goosey Night... it's a Jersey thing.
What are your rules for surviving, or thriving, in New Jersey? To make the most out of life in the Garden State, check out this list of the
best hikes in New Jersey or this list of hidden gem restaurants.