Nebraska May 29, 2017
11 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Nebraska Cringe
Most of us can agree that life in Nebraska is good. But when life hands you lemons – in the form of unfortunate incidents, misunderstandings, or annoyances – sometimes all you can do is cringe, sigh, make some pretty weird-tasting lemonade, and move on. These things are just about guaranteed to make a Nebraskan cringe.
1. Ask us if we have indoor plumbing.
A lot of people think that Nebraska is stuck a couple of centuries in the past. To be fair, I do know of plenty of rural families who say they didn't have indoor plumbing until the '60s...but that was a long time ago, and I don't think anyone here relies solely on outhouses anymore.
2. Ask if we have electricity.
This is a pretty weird thing to wonder in the 21st century. Maybe people assume the electric lines don't stretch all the way to the middle of the country?
3. Ask if we're afraid of cowboy and Indian fights.
I wish this was a joke, but in high school someone from the east coast asked me if it was safe to travel outside in Nebraska. You know, because of all the cowboy and Indian fighting always going on. All I could do was cringe and walk away.
4. Ask how far from Omaha or Lincoln
Yes, the majority of the population occupies the eastern third of the state. But it's a big state, and those in the panhandle are tired of telling out-of-staters that no, Scottsbluff is nowhere near Omaha.
5. Hit that huge pothole in the road.
We've all been there - sometimes they just sneak up on you and you can't do anything to avoid them. Watching someone hit one of these really hard is definitely cringe-inducing.
6. Mention cow tipping.
It's a joke that someone made decades ago that just won't die. No, we don't go cow tipping for fun. But if you can figure out how to tip over a fully-grown bovine, let us know!
7. Forget your sunscreen or bug spray.
We feel your pain. Hopefully someone has some they can share, because you really can't get through summer here without them.
8. Freak out over a couple of inches of snow.
Most of us Nebraskans have lived through actually being snowed in for days at a time, so there's no need to lose it every time it snows. Stock up on milk, eggs, and bread if it makes you feel better, but let's stop calling every winter storm "Snowpocalypse."
9. Follow too closely on icy streets.
We've all got somewhere to be - just slow down and drive responsibly when the streets are bad.
10. Support some other college team on game day.
You can support whatever pro team you like, but have a little respect when it comes to college football. It's Huskers or nothing around here.
11. Tell us that driving through Nebraska was the most boring day of your life.
If you stay on I-80 all the way through the state, you probably will be disappointed in the scenery. But the interstate was meant to be fast, not scenic. Slow down, drive the rural highways, and be totally delighted by the beautiful state that's out there waiting for you.
Yes, we know that most of these aren’t exclusive to Nebraska – but darn it, they sure hit close to home, don’t they? What are some other things that can always make you cringe? Add yours to the list in the comments!
On the other side of the coin, here are
14 of the best things about living in Nebraska – they’re guaranteed to make us smile.