Kansas City November 08, 2017
11 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Kansas City
Some may ask “Why do you even live there?” …but only because they don’t know just how great it is. Maybe it’s better if we tell everyone how awful it is to make sure they never, ever move to Kansas City. We don’t need those negative attitudes here!
1. Nothing good ever came out of Kansas City.
There's no way anyone important was created here, obviously. Surely not a worldwide sensation.
2. There's nothing fun to do.
We don't have any big attractions or festivals, you can be sure of that.
3. Sports are lame. Who needs them?
No pride for the Chiefs, Royals, or Sporting KC. None at all.
4. We're surrounded by boring farmland.
Vineyards? What are those? It's all farmland out there. No scenery whatsoever.
5. The only thing to eat here is barbecue.
You've got that right. That's all we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. What's a "ta-co?" Never heard of it.
6. And it's terrible barbecue, anyways.
We haven't ever won any awards or hosted an annual nationwide competition for it, I promise.
7. We have no eye for art of any kind.
That's why we don't have any art museums, sculptures, or fountains anywhere. We like it cold and boring!
8. Plus, it's just a flyover city.
There's nothing to see here. Skylines and rivers are boring. Just move along.
9. Don't expect to hear any good music, either.
We don't have any history of music, especially jazz. This building is empty inside. We don't even use it.
10. You'll only find processed and fast food here.
Everything's shipped from overseas and we hate eating farm-to-table. Fresh food is overrated.
11 Everything in Kansas City is boring or just awful, honestly.
There's nothing to do on weekends, or even weeknights. We don't have any sort of tourism or leisure activities, so you're probably better off ignoring Kansas City from now on.
Do you think this will keep them away? After all this “negativity” about our city, let’s check out
some odd, yet awesome things to do around here. Maybe you’ll find a new favorite hangout?