Minnesota February 27, 2017
13 Things No Self-Respecting Minnesotan Would Ever Do
Minnesotans are generally a friendly and relaxed bunch most of the time. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have any rules to live by. Our state’s unique culture has given us a few quirks that make us different from the rest. So if you want to fit in in Minnesota, here are
13 things no Minnesotan would ever do.
1. Forget our winter gear.
It's not that we love wearing boots and heavy coats so much. It's just not easy to get by without them. Walk outside with a coat in frigid temperatures, and you'll walk right back inside.
2. Root for the Packers.
We're friendly with our neighbors to the east long enough to do a Sunday beer run and make a trip to the cheese store. Other than that, Wisconsin is dead to us. A Minnesotan rooting for the Packers is committing the ultimate betrayal.
3. Call it pop.
Sure, we know what other people mean when they call it "soda." But that doesn't mean we don't cringe.
4. Take the last cookie.
Or the last brownie. Or the last anything, really. There are two things that will happen to the last one on the plate: it'll either stay there until it becomes stale and someone finally throws it away, or it will be cut in half infinitely.
5. Refuse to help.
Minnesota nice is the real deal. Most of us have been saved by a helping hand at least once, and we like to return the favor.
6. Say "Uff da!" and mean it.
Same goes for "You betcha!" No one says this for real, and we resent that others take it so seriously.
7. Freak out about a blizzard.
Even if we don't love driving in or shoveling snow, we know by now how to deal with it.
8. Make fun of Canadian accents.
Why? It just hits a little too close to home. We've been told we sound like our neighbors to the north too many times to go around mocking them for saying "aboot."
9. Pretend Target isn't heaven on earth.
Ask a Minnesotan where they went over the weekend, and nine times out of ten the answer includes Target. Sure, people in other states love Target too. But it is our home away from home. You're welcome, world.
10. Complain about the cold.
No one likes being cold. But Minnesotans are a hardy people. We tough it out. Why? Parly because we're used to it, and partly because we know another amazing summer is right around the corner. Speaking of which...
11. Spend a nice summer day inside.
It just isn't done. We only have a few months of that beautiful, glorious warmth. Spending free time indoors just wastes the good weather.
12. Play Duck, Duck, Goose.
Minnesotans grew up playing Duck, Duck, Gray Duck, and we like it that way.
13. Miss the state fair.
If you tell someone you're going to miss the Great Minnesota Get-Together, they may give you the side-eye. The best state fair in the U.S. is a can't-miss event, even if you've been there every year since birth. There is no better way to end the summer than eating your weight in fried and bringing home a bucket of cookies.
Would you add anything else to the list? Let us know what you think!