Michigan October 31, 2016
15 Sure-Fire Ways To Make A Michigander Mad
Michiganders are, as a whole, some of the most down-to-earth and friendly people you’ll ever meet. Our Midwestern attitudes shine through in the majority of our daily activities. But we’re also human, and that means we get angry from time to time — for a whole slew of unique reasons. Here are a few things you can do that will almost certainly get a Michigander’s blood boiling.
1. Complain about a tiny amount of snowfall.
We know Michigan isn’t the only state in the nation that deals with heavy snow each year, but seriously — your schools are having a snow day over a few inches? Try waking up in an icy tundra and still being forced to report for work.
2. Insult the Great Lakes.
“Lake Michigan is just a lake, not an ocean. It’s not a real beach.” Um, wait a second. Michigan has some of the most gorgeous sprawling beaches around, and we’ll defend them to the death.
3. Fail to acknowledge the U.P.
Hey, the Lower Peninsula is great, but Michiganders pride themselves on being a bi-peninsular state. Don’t forget that there’s a whole world of wonders above the Mackinac Bridge.
4. Mispronounce the names of Michigan’s most beloved destinations.
Most Michiganders have lost track of how many times out-of-staters have referenced “Mackinack” Island or “Salt Saint Marie.” Sigh.
5. Insult their college sports team.
Every Michigander is fiercely loyal to their favorite college team, whether it’s Michigan or Michigan State. One easy way to anger a Michigander is to make a joke at the expense of their team.
6. Make them drive around the state for an extended period of time.
Potholes on potholes on potholes. Need we say more?
7. Complain about your state’s “bad” NFL team.
Michiganders don’t want to hear you complain about how it’s been a few years since your team was in the Super Bowl. Try being a Lions fan — it’s tough to remain loyal despite the fact that our team has NEVER appeared in a Super Bowl.
8. Try to claim another state as the “Mitten State.”
We’ve heard rumors that Wisconsin is trying to call itself the Mitten State. Not so fast, Wisconsinites: we’re pretty sure we’ve got a solid hold on that title.
9. Talk trash about Detroit.
Detroit is far from perfect, and it’s had a rough few years. But there’s so much more to this city than a high crime rate and a devastating financial collapse. It’s also synonymous with beloved music, legendary sports moments, and a strong spirit that won’t quit.
10. Wear Ohio State gear in front of them.
We’ll try to be polite when we see you in that red sweatshirt, but don’t be surprised if we give you a less-than-thrilled look and engage in some heavy eye-rolling as you walk by.
11. Tell them you don’t have a deck of cards.
No cards?! How are we supposed to play euchre without a deck of cards?
12. Try to give them your own home remedy for an upset stomach.
We’re sure you’ve got a special trick that will solve our stomach problems, but we’re from Michigan. Everyone here knows that a glass of Vernors is the only truly effective way to settle a stomach.
13. Make fun of their accent.
We know we're a bit nasally from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you have to call us out on it!
14. Completely fail at making a “Michigan left.”
We can sympathize with the difficulties of driving in an unfamiliar place, but there’s nothing more irritating than being held up in traffic by someone who simply can’t figure out how to make a Michigan left turn.
15. Call it "soda."
It’s “pop.” End of story.
Alright, Michiganders: it’s your turn to tell us. What really makes you mad?