Michigan February 08, 2018
9 Undeniable Reasons Why You Should Never Break Up With A Michigander
We’re obviously fairly biased, but we Michiganders think we’re a pretty awesome bunch. After all, we live in one of the most beautiful and unique states imaginable — so our experiences and upbringing make us absolutely one-of-a-kind. If you’re lucky enough to date a Michigander, never let them go! Here are nine reasons why.
1. We’re loyal.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a Michigander, you should know that we’re fiercely loyal. After all, most of us are Detroit Lions fans, and we continue to root for our NFL team despite the fact that they’ve never (ever) appeared in a Super Bowl. Stay loyal to us and we’ll certainly return the favor.
2. We can tough it out when things get difficult.
No relationship is perfect, but we Michiganders are especially skilled at sticking it out when things get difficult. We’re used to braving all sorts of struggles, from brutally cold winters to economic woes in our largest cities. Don’t give up on us, because we’ll never give up on you.
3. We know how to have fun.
Is there anything more important in a relationship than being able to let loose and laugh together? We Michiganders certainly know how to have a good time. From beaches to amusement parks to all sorts of fantastic sporting events, there’s no shortage of excitement to be had here in the Great Lakes State.
4. If you cross us, we’ve got plenty of backup.
If you make the mistake of breaking up with someone from Michigan, be forewarned: our friends and our families are our closest allies, and you’ll have them to deal with when you break our hearts. Sure, "Midwest nice" is a real thing, but so is "Midwest loyalty." You might just find yourself facing down an entire hometown!
5. Breaking up with us means no more trips up north.
During the course of your relationship with a Michigander, we’re sure you’ve gotten an "in" to some sort of cottage, campground, or getaway up north. When you end your relationship with a Michigander, you’ll no longer have an excuse to spend summer days lounging around on the shores of Crystal Lake or hiking at Sleeping Bear Dunes. Do you really want to lose that chance?
6. We can heal you when you’re sick.
One word: Vernors. We Michiganders have quick and easy access to the most magical healing elixir of all time, which just happens to double as a popular ginger ale brand. If you stay with your Michigan sweetheart, you can count on the fact that your stomach ailments will always be addressed quickly.
7. We’re weird, and we’ll accept your weirdness.
You might think you’re weird, but keep in mind that our state’s hockey team allows fans to throw dead octopuses onto the ice before games. As if that weren’t enough, we refer to some of our residents as "trolls" and have been known to inexplicably add the letter "s" to the end of words that don’t need it. So, trust us: we can handle a bit of weirdness, and we certainly don’t judge.
8. We’re always willing to drive when you don’t feel like it.
Winter in Michigan is no joke, so we’re well accustomed to driving in blizzard-like conditions. There’s a reason why we rarely take time off work due to inclement weather or enjoy snow days -- we can drive through whatever Mother Nature throws our way. If you decide to break up with a Michigander, you’ll never be able to count on someone else to do the driving when you’re dead tired.
9. You’ll definitely end up feeling jealous if you break things off.
If you choose to end your relationship with a Michigander, you’re in for a rough go of things. After all, it’s not hard to move on when we live among so many gorgeous people and places, and you might just find yourself pining over your ex as they post beautiful photos from their adventures in the Great Lakes State. The best way to avoid regret? Hold tightly to your wonderful Michigander loved one!
So, there you have it: an indisputable list of reasons to keep the Michigander you’re dating in your life. Have any other points to add? We’re always eager to hear from you, so leave us a comment below!