Michigan November 10, 2017
9 Foolproof Ways To Spot An Imposter In Michigan
We Michiganders are a unique and diverse bunch. With different interests, beliefs, and hobbies, there’s no “one size fits all” mold to describe someone from Michigan. With that said, there ARE a few easy ways to spot a non-Michigander — or someone parading around sneakily pretending to be from the Great Lakes State. Here are nine foolproof ways to tell if someone is a “Michigan imposter.”
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1. They’ve got at least one item of Ohio State apparel.
Let’s start out with the basics: Michiganders don’t like Ohio State. It’s a fact of life here in the Great Lakes State, and we’ve been known to immediately gag when we’re forced to see that familiar buckeye logo. If we spot a red jersey in your closet, we’ll know that you’re secretly supporting the enemy.
2. They can’t name the five Great Lakes.
Whether you learned the names of the Great Lakes though the HOMES (Huron Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior) acronym way back during your school days or simply picked up this knowledge after plenty of time spent on the shorelines, every Michigander can name the five Great Lakes. If you can barely come up with one name, we might start suspecting that you’re an imposter.
3. They pull out a "real" map when asked where they’re from.
Michiganders use their palms to show others where they’re from. After all, our state is perfectly shaped like a mitten — and we’re always eager to take advantage of this trait. When asked to point out their hometown or place of residence, a true Michigander will point to their hand. Anyone who uses a "normal" map might just be fooling you into thinking they’re from Michigan.
4. They can’t pronounce Mackinac… or Sault Ste. Marie… or Gratiot.
You’ll weed out non-Michiganders pretty quickly with this little test! Our state is full of hard-to-say city and street names, but those of us who call Michigan home are typically well-versed in the proper pronunciation. To find out if someone is pretending to be a Michigander, simply ask them to name "that island up north." If they say "Macki-nack," you’ve got an imposter on your hands!
5. They prefer oceans to freshwater.
A love for the Great Lakes is deeply engrained into each and every Michigander. Whether we’re fans of swimming, boating, or simply appreciating the scenery, we know that our beloved lakes are made even better by the fact that they’re "unsalted." If you hear a new pal exclaiming that oceans are far superior to the Great Lakes, you might have a little investigating to do.
6. They get offended if you call them a "troll."
Here in the Great Lakes State, "troll" is simply a playful term for someone from the Lower Peninsula — a person who lives "under" the Mackinac Bridge. There’s nothing derogatory about it, and those of us who identify as trolls are just as quick to refer to our U.P. friends as "Yoopers." So if you notice someone scoffing at being called a troll, they might just be tricking you into believing they’re from Michigan.
7. They reach for Pepto Bismol when they’ve got a stomachache.
When it comes to easing our stomach ailments, every Michigander knows that Vernor’s is the way to go. Sure, we’ll try actual medicine if our symptoms don’t subside, but our beloved ginger ale always does the trick when we’re battling a minor stomachache. If someone forgoes the Vernor’s altogether and heads right for the Pepto, there’s a chance they aren’t a true-blue Michigander.
8. They’re shocked when they still have to go to work during a snowstorm.
You know the drill, Michiganders: you wake up, notice that there’s a literal blizzard outside, take a deep breath, and start getting ready for work. Cancellations are pretty rare if you live in the Great Lakes State, and we’ve accepted our fate. If you’ve got a friend who claims to be from Michigan but constantly expresses shock when work or school isn’t cancelled due to weather, they might be a secret California transplant parading as a Michigander.
9. They don’t get a little misty when they hear a "Pure Michigan" ad.
A deep sense of Michigan pride is key to life here in the Great Lakes State. Even if we don’t frequently express our pride, most of us can’t help but get a little teary-eyed when we hear those beloved "Pure Michigan" ads on the radio or television. Have a friend who loudly talks over these ads? It might be time to get a little suspicious about their true status as a Michigander.
Of course, we love to welcome non-Michiganders to our state and these items are all in good fun — but we’ll keep our eyes peeled for imposters anyway. How can you tell when someone isn’t from the Great Lakes State? Share your foolproof methods in the comment section below.