The 6 Dumbest Criminals In Michigan Of All Time Will Have You Laughing In Disbelief
Criminals by nature have to rely on their cunning capabilities to pull off heists, drug deals, and other shady activities. Sometimes that doesn’t always work out and they make blunders that tangle up their scheming ways. Here are some dumb criminal cases in Michigan that will have you ROTFL.
6) Darth Vader Robbery
A man in Ferndale decided it would be a good idea to robbery a convenience store by disguising himself as Darth Vader. OK, not too original, but Darth Vader masks are easy to come by. Trouble is, he puts the mask on inside the store, thus revealing his true identity to the many security cameras.
5) Don't show your ID to cop if you have warrants.
During a demonstration to childen of the equipment inside a Detroit police squad car, a man approaches police to ask how their computer system worked. They asked for his ID, run his name and lo-and-behold, he had warrants for his arrest stemming from an armed robbery in St. Louis.
4) Where can I find a good hit man?
A Grand Rapids woman took to Craigslist to try to hire a "silent" assasin" for $5,000 to kill the woman who was sleeping with her husband. The FBI caught wind of the ad, busted her, and sent her to prison.
3) Didn't your mother ever tell you not to run while carrying sharp objects?
A would-be thief attempting to run off with $300 in hunting knives from a Meijer store tripped and fell and subsequently stabbed himself with them... Oooh, ouch!
2) Never trust a fraud to do the right thing, even in court.
While making an appearance in court, a fraud suspect was ordered to have his fingerprints taken. OK, seems like standard procedure. I suppose it's also standard procedure for a scammer to hand the court clerk a stolen credit card to pay for the prints.
1) Cocaine doesn't belong in your coat pocket. Period.
A man in a Pontiac court room suspected of drug possession tries to argue that his case should be thrown out because the cop who searched his pocket did not have a warrant. Prosecutor says the officer didn't need one because there was a suspicious bulge in the pocket of the man's jacket. The defendent, wearing the same jacket, shows the judge his coat, which.... Happens to have a packet of cocaine in the pocket. Laughter ensues and the judge calls for recess to regain his composure.
So these are some of the dumb criminal headlines that made us chuckle. Do you remember a few in your community that just had you shaking your head in amusement? Tell us about them in the comments below!
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Serena Maria Daniels is an award-winning freelance journalist in Detroit, by way of Chicago, by way of the West Coast. She writes about Michigan for OIYS. Serena enjoys learning about language and culture and taking road trips with her beagle Ralph.
