Detroit November 17, 2017
9 Foolproof Ways To Spot An Imposter In Detroit
Every Detroiter has experienced it: we’re introduced to someone who
claims to be from Detroit, only to realize that they might not truly be from the Motor City. If you need a little help recognizing when someone is bending the truth about being a Detroiter, here are nine surefire ways to spot an imposter.
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1. They slather their coney dog with ketchup.
This one is a dead giveaway. Every true Detroiter knows that a delicious coney dog shouldn’t be ruined by the addition of ketchup. Sure, feel free to add the tomato-based sauce to your french fries or hamburgers, but a real Detroiter would never destroy a perfectly good coney by covering it in ketchup!
2. They’ve never heard of this Barry Sanders guy.
If you bring up the "glory days" of Barry Sanders and the person you’re chatting with seems confused, there’s a good chance they’re not a true blue Detroiter. Even younger generations know about our beloved Barry Sanders, and a bonafide Detroiter will smile at the sight of that #20 jersey.
3. They can’t pronounce "Gratiot."
There’s nothing more awkward than listening to someone butcher the pronunciation of "Gratiot." Michigan as a whole has plenty of tough-to-pronounce names, but Gratiot is a must-know for those of us who live in the Motor City. If someone who claims to be from Detroit starts saying "Gra-tee-aht," you might have some investigating to do.
4. You catch them wearing a shirt from their high school… in Rochester Hills.
It’s a common occurrence for Detroiters: you meet someone new who excitedly explains that they’re also from Detroit. You’re also excited to make a new friend from your home city, only to look down and see that they’re actually imported directly from the suburbs.
5. They order "soda" at a restaurant.
We’ve said it before, and we’ll undoubtedly say it again: that fizzy beverage is called "pop!" Here in Detroit, we’re pretty strict about what we call our beloved soft drinks, and you’ll stick out like a sore thumb in the Motor City if you start using the "s" word. Don’t even get us started on our love for Faygo.
6. They think there’s something weird about square pizza.
Uh, excuse us? Square pizza — classic Detroit style — is incredibly delicious, and we can’t imagine indulging in a pie that doesn’t have perfectly crispy corners. If you meet a so-called Detroiter who seems a bit put-off by the square shape of their pizza, they might not truly be from Detroit.
7. They give up on the Lions after one loss.
Any genuine Detroiter knows that the Lions certainly don't perform well at every game — and we’re fairly well-accustomed to the disappointment that accompanies supporting our favorite team. Regardless of losses, though, we remain loyal. If you’ve got a new pal who refuses to watch another Lions game after experiencing just one loss, there might be something fishy going on.
8. They try to tell you they’re from South Detroit.
Try to avoid laughing directly in their face! This should be a dead giveaway: if you ask someone which part of the city they’re from and they reply with, "South Detroit," you can rest assured that they’re an imposter. True Detroit residents know that "South Detroit" isn’t a real neighborhood — instead, it just sounded cool enough to be included in the lyrics to "Don’t Stop Believing."
9. They constantly badmouth our beloved city.
We’re not pretending that Detroit isn’t without its flaws and shortcomings, but true Detroiters know that ours is a city on the mend, with all sorts of promising endeavors and unique attractions. Someone with a true love for the Motor City would never waste time knocking it down — instead, they’d gladly stand up to defend its many assets, no matter how much criticism came their way.
It’s your turn, Detroiters! We want to know how you spot an imposter here in the Motor City. Share your suggestions with us in the comment section below… and be sure to keep your eyes peeled for pretenders!