Michigan December 14, 2016
15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Michigan
Do you know anyone who’s considering a move to the Great Lakes State? Well, all Michiganders know that moving here is simply a bad idea. We’ve got too many people as it is — and there’s no way you’ll find welcoming neighbors or stunning scenery in Michigan. Be sure to share this list before someone makes a big mistake by moving to our terribly boring state.
1. Everyone knows that Michigan is just an ugly flyover state.
There's really nothing but bland flatlands to see from above, anyway.
2. There’s no way a “Great Lake” could ever compare to the beauty of an ocean.
It's common knowledge that lakes are tiny, murky, and terrible for swimming.
3. Michigan gets tons of snow in the winter — and nothing fun ever comes of that.
Snow means you're cooped up in your house with nothing to do for months at a time.
4. Detroit is a wasteland. There’s absolutely nothing to do in the Motor City.
You could drive around the city for hours and not find one activity worth checking out.
5. The whole state is just farmlands and cornfields… and that’s not the least bit scenic.
You certainly won't be taking any photos of these fields. Michigan is grey and dreary year-round.
6. The long drive to the Upper Peninsula just isn’t worth it.
What's up there, anyway? Some squatty trees?
7. Michigan really isn’t the place to be if you love arts and culture.
I don't know about you, but I've never heard of any cool sculpture parks or art museums in the so-called Great Lakes State.
8. The roads are nothing but pothole-filled stretches of pavement.
Driving in Michigan is a real pain, and there's nothing pretty to look at along the way.
9. Has anyone or anything interesting ever come out of Michigan, anyway?
Gerald R. Ford? Stevie Wonder? Jeff Daniels? Never heard of them.
10. Michigan residents just don’t know how to have a good time.
I mean, can you blame them? It’s not like Michigan has any celebrations or attractions.
11. When it comes to food, Michigan’s options are run-of-the-mill.
There is absolutely no dish in the state of Michigan that can’t be made just as deliciously anywhere else in the world. Not one.
12. It’s not a very good place for families.
What could you possibly find for your kids to do in Michigan?
13. It would be better to live in a state that actually had some history.
I’ve spent a good five seconds thinking about this, and zero historical sites in Michigan come to mind.
14. Michiganders are so unfriendly and rude.
It's pretty clear that people from Michigan are uptight and unwelcoming. Yet another reason to stay away.
15. Seriously. Nobody would ever want to live in the Mitten State.
It's just plain unattractive.
Hmm, are you sensing a bit of sarcasm? Perhaps Michigan is actually one of the most amazing places in the entire country… and perhaps we’re always eager to introduce people to the fun and beauty of the Great Lakes State. What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.