Massachusetts April 01, 2016
16 Surefire Ways To Always Spot A Tourist In Massachusetts
It’s hard to find people who are prouder of their home state than Massachusetts natives. That’s why it’s wicked obvious when an outsider tries to infiltrate the fold. While tourism is a vital part of the Massachusetts economy, and we love sharing all the amazingness of our state with the world, it’s still really easy to pick out a visitor to these lands. Check out all the ways tourists make themselves stand out.
1. They ask directions to the Cape Cod Tunnel. And we very helpfully assist them. Honestly, it’s really rude when natives try to tell tourists that the tunnel actually doesn’t exist.
2. And they actually say “Cape Cod," or even worse…”The Cape Cod.” Shiver.
3. They don’t know anything about Western Massachusetts or that it even exists. They DO know that somewhere out west is where all the pretty fall foliage is kept.
4. They think the only accent in the state is a Boston accent.
5. They order “chocolate sprinkles” on their ice cream instead of jimmies.
6. They’re drinking at Cheers in Boston. No one but giddy tourists actually goes to Cheers.
7. While at Cheers, they try to order an out-of-season Sam Adams.
8. They call a rotary a “round-about.” What even is that?
9. They ask for pop instead of soda. Or soda instead of tonic. But that second one is really only an issue if you're at a bar in Boston. It’s confusing actually. We’ll cut them some slack on this one.
10. They jokingly ask if they should “pahk the cah in Hahvahd yahd.” Harvard Yard is literally grass. You will get towed.
11. They refer to Boston as “Beantown” or “The Bean.” Just….stop. You’re freaking the rest of us out.
12. They mispronounce Leicester, Leominster, and Scituate.
13. They tell you that Starbucks is better than Dunkin Donuts. I mean, sure, if you want a Mochasparkle Egg-White Half-Froth Double Sprinkle Peruvian-blend Grande Midi Unicorn, then yes. Starbucks is better for that.
14. Speaking of which, they don’t know what a “regular” coffee is.
15. At a restaurant, they ask if there are tomatoes in the clam chowder. No. The answer is always no. It’s illegal.
16. They’re in a Duckmobile. I refuse to believe any Massachusetts native has boarded one of those big blue vehicles unless they were 10 years old and on a field trip to Boston, or drunk.
What are some of the ways that
you spot tourists in Massachusetts?