Kentucky March 03, 2017
10 Things No Self Respecting Kentuckian Would Ever Do
If you’re a self-respecting Kentuckian, you know that here in the Bluegrass State, we have a certain way of life. We have our own unique culture, and there are just things that as a Kentuckian, you would never, ever do. Here are 10 of them.
1. Mix a fine bourbon with Coca-Cola.
Mixing with Coke is for foreign whiskeys, not fine Kentucky bourbons. True Kentuckians like their bourbon neat, without any mixer, water, or even ice cubes. Bourbon is meant to be sipped slowly and enjoyed, not thrown back like some other foul-tasting liquors. Roll the bourbon over your tongue and across your teeth to really taste it. This is called a "Kentucky chew." And that warm, fuzzy feeling that you get in your throat and chest? That's called a "Kentucky hug."
2. Choose any other kind of Coke when Ale-8-One is an option.
And yes, that says "any other kind of Coke." In Kentucky, the word "coke" is not just used to describe Coca-cola. It's a broad term used for any soft drink. Ale-8-One is a tasty ginger ale that is bottled in Winchester, KY.
3. When someone asks if you cheer for the University of Louisville Cardinals or the University of Kentucky Wildcats, say "both."
You HAVE to pick one. It's even suspicious when people say "I'll cheer for one if they're not playing the other." Nope. You're either #BBN or #L1C4. There is no in between.
4. Pronounce Louisville incorrectly.
You can always spot a non-Kentuckian if they pronounce Kentucky's largest city "Loueyville." Locals say "Loo-a-vull" or "Luhvul."
5. Move to southern Indiana.
This particularly pertains to Louisvillians. Sure, the real estate may be cheaper over in Hoosier Land, but, just, why? Have fun sitting in traffic on the bridges every weekday.
6. Refer to any athlete other than Muhammad Ali as "The G.O.A.T."
Muhammad Ali is, and always will be, The Greatest Of All Time.
7. Don't stand up or remove your hat for "My Old Kentucky Home."
Standing up and removing your hat during Kentucky's heart wrenching state song is as necessary as doing so during the National Anthem. Kentuckians beam with pride when the horses are being led out to the starting gate on Derby Day as everyone sings it in unison. For bonus points, start crying.
8. Put away your winter or summer clothes at the first sign of the seasons changing.
Just because it's late March and 80 degrees doesn't mean it won't dip to 20 and snow in two weeks. Same goes for winter. If it's a freezing cold December day, keep those short sleeves handy because Christmas Day could be 70 and sunny.
9. Say no to a weekend at the lake.
If you're lucky, you know someone who has a lake house and a boat. Escape to one of Kentucky's many gorgeous lakes to experience a typical summer weekend in the Bluegrass State.
10. Say no to a weekend in Red River Gorge.
If you're REALLY lucky, you also know someone with a cabin in Red River Gorge. When it's too cold to go boating on the lake, cozy up next to a fire in a little cabin in the mountains.
What other things would any self-respecting Kentuckian NOT do?